Breakthrough at 27!

On my 27th birthday my house was finally fixed, but it had all caused me to feel trapped in Chambersburg. I spent New Years in Charlotte with Sherah and got to spend time with a friend from my DTS who was living down there. I drove down with Valerie and there was something wrong with the horn on her car. If you turned the steering wheel to the left it honked. Loudly. If you did a long turn, it sounded like you were laying on the horn. If you tried to break it up into short turns, it went honk, honk, honk, honk. Whenever we went into gas stations, or stopped to eat, we made a grand enterance with our honking and everyone was looking and annoyed and we would fall out of the car laughing. Sherah's neighborhood was classy and already annoyed all the time at her and her roommates because of noise and the amount of people coming in and out. Well, we didn't arrive until around midnight and honked the whole way through the neighborhood. It wasn't until the next day that Val thought about cutting the wire on the horn to make it stop.

In March, Lane invited me to come spend a weekend together in NYC again and I added on a trip to New Haven as well. It was wonderful to spend time with dear friends who had known me, who believed in me, who could remind me how far I had come and that I was heading in the right direction. A few weeks after that, Brett and I took a road trip down to Wesley's wedding in Charlotte. We talked the entire way and by that I mean that Brett talked the first hour and I talked the next 5, but it was a blast. We had so much fun down there hanging out with friends and I actually did karaoke for the first time to Enrique of course. Kris joined us for he drive home. On the way down we had stopped at a Subway for lunch and had the scariest workers who Brett said appeared to have just gotten out of jail and were stingy with the toppings. Brett complained the whole time about this Subway. On the way home we decided we were hungry and not paying attention, we saw a sign for an exit with a Subway and pulled off and ended up at the exact same Subway. : )

That summer I decided that I wanted to start attending a series of leadership seminars by the organization Klemmer and Associates. I looked online for where their next basic level one would be held and it was in New Haven which was perfect because I already knew my way around and could stay with at Ricci & Jeremy's. It started on Friday and ended on Sunday and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I started realizing how much of lost of me. Let me just say that I love Chambersburg and have lots of fabulous friends here who love me for who I am, but I am certainly not the "normal Chambersburg woman" and I had a hard time my first few years because people felt like they should inform me where I was falling short. I don't cook, I am not married, I am loud and boisterious. I don't dress conservitively. I make rash choices and I don't really hide much. Without realizing it, I had started taking a back seat in life so as not to have to hear people's opinions. On Saturday when we were informed that we would have lunch free and then I realized that everyone had seperately come up and asked me if I wanted to have lunch with them and they were all ages, there as a part of me that finally came back alive and I remembered, "Hey I am fun and people like to be around me!" I also realized that I hadn't traveled internationally for years and that was such a huge part of what makes me feel alive. I decided that I was going to plan an international trip. A few months before, a blog I had followed of a guy named Bobby Earle who was a photographer and lover of travel had announced a trip to Thailand and Cambodia for photographers. Although I was one, I still wanted to go because the places they traveled looked SO amazing and he & his wife seemed to travel in a similar way that I do. I figured that all 12 spots would be full, but within a week of making the commitment to myself that I would travel internationally, Bobby posted that he had 4 more spots left. I wrote explaining that I wasn't a photographer, but why I wanted to go and he said, "Come along!" I sent in my deposit, bought a nice camera and then... I FROZE! I couldn't talk about it when anyone would ask me about it. The economy was bad and I always heard people I knew were making WAY more than me saying that they couldn't afford things way less frivolous than a dream trip, but there was no backing out now. That time really showed me that there are always going to be a million reasons NOT to do something, but hey, why not do it anyways???

Which is how I ended up in a car at the butt crack of dawn with Bonnie on the way to NYC for a Stilleto Run to raise awareness for Stop Child Trafficing Now in the pouring rain the day before I was leaving for San Francisco. And it was amazing!

That October I also traveled to San Francisco to do the next step in the Klemmer Leadership Training programs. Advanced leadership was probably the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but absolutely has changed the way I lived. My eyes were opened to how much I had been living with a victim mentality and how it felt safe, but was robbing my life of possibilities. I had moved to PA and wanted to prove that I could live a "normal life" that I hadn't lived in my early years and I had succeeded. The problem was that I was not designed for the normal life. I a dreamer. I am a couragious, confident, competent and perserving woman and I have a huge destiny ahead of me that requires my individuality, not some clone of what others believe I should be.

A funny thing happened when I returned home with my new found confidence. Not only did the comments and teasing that I received from others not affect me as much, but they really decreased. Words still hurt, but when others know that their words can't make you feel as belittled and small as they had intended, they tend to not say them as much.

It was funny when I was at last able to talk about my trip and Bobby had sent us a schedule of what we would be doing each day. I of course paid NO attention to it, but Crissyand Jill went through and did research for me on the locations I would be in.

26!

On my 26th birthday it snowed. I had gone over to the Strites after work and Sherah and I layed in bed chatting as the snow fell and Karen brought us up tea. Then she drove us to have sushi for dinner and then we went to the movies to watch "Enchanted." For those of you who haven't seen it, it is about these cartoon characters who become real people who find themselves in Manhattan and burst into song about love and feelings and I loved it because I believe life should have been a musical, but I don't think Karen and Sherah were too impressed, but graciously sat through it with me.

In February, my grandfather died. I drove up to New Hampshire for the funeral stopping in Newark to pick Martha up on my way. I was so sad to lose for him to die, but I loved getting to spend several days surrounded by Martha, my parents, and Dan & Nova. And I loved Portsmouth were we were stayng in Dan & Nova's apartment. It was very hard to come back to Chambersburg where it was the middle of winter and I wasn't surrounded by family. I discovered The Office during that time and bearly left my house if I wasn't working and watched every episode. In an attempt to cheer me up, Lane invited me to join him in NYC for a long weekend. I fell in love with NYC and discovered that Lane and I actually traveled really well. Lane loved being the tour guide and figuring out directions, fun places to go, but he wanted someone to show around. I loved not having to figure anything out and just following around and being awed by the sights and good company.

Sherah stopped working at the church that year, but we were still very busy with big rennovation project on the church and gearing up for the 2nd 7/20 Gathering. That summer I treated myself to a pool pass and would go everyday after work and fall asleep at the pool because I was so exhausted by the end of the work day. I decided that I wanted to take a vacation after the 7/20 that year and so Lane suggested that we explore Washington DC together that week. We stayed in Georgetown and one morning we were walking passed this little bakery called Georgetown Cupcakes that had a long line outside and we were super intrigued why people would be lining up for this place. We didn't want to wait in line because it was hot, but then when in the coming months we heard about Georgetown Cupcakes on Oprah and on the Today Show we realized we should have gone inside.

While we were in DC, Lane came up with a great idea to fly me out to MO where he was living and surprise Dave and Rachel with my visit. A few weeks later flew in (after have a creeper stroke my leg on the airplane and then try to get me to leave the airport with him. He ran when I ran up and hugged Lane who was waiting for me at the bagguge claim). I met a bunch of his friends that night, we went shopping the next day and then Lane had arranged to meet Dave & Rach for dinner and I jumped out of the car. It was so fun! We all spent the next few days together and when I had to say good bye to Rach, I cried and cried which was terrible because I was at a bbq where there were still a bunch of Lane's friends with us, but I couldn't stop crying.

I had decided to apply at a school in Charlotte so a few weeks after that I drove down to CLT with Sheila and got to stay with Sherah and all their roommies. After touring the school, we went camping and slept under the stars at our camp site for Sarah's birthday. It was really fun except for when I almost walked into a spider web with a HUGE spider in it and I screamed. I also borrow Sherah's lantern to go use the the bathroom and dropped it in the toilet. I never told her about that.... opppssss....

I got accepted for the school starting in Oct so I decided to put my house on the market. The day before I called the realitor, I really wanted to work out in my front yard, but I felt bad because I knew that Reachout (a ministry our church used to have in the community) was that night and I should attend since I was the manager. I figured I would just go for alittle while, but when I arrived, I was needed for along time and then they needed someone to drive the big truck down to Marion for diesel and so I decided to have a good attitude and stayed as long as I was needed. When I was heading home I saw that the streets near my house were blocked off and then I could see that that it looked like they were police and some kind of commotion in front of MY house. I managed to get down back roads, parked my car and started RUNNING toward my house. My neighbor intercepted me and said, "Erin, don't panic, it's not as bad as it looks." An SUV had totalled my neighboors car, accelerated and driven up the 4 concrete steps before taking out the post of my front porch and flipping over into my front yard. If I had been working out there as I had oringinaly planned, I would have been crushed. It was a miracle that nobody had been seriously injured, but it meant that I had to decline the offer of the school and not put my house on the market. It took months to get all the details worked out and the people to finish the work on the house.

25- AKA a Quarter of a Century

Before I go into the details of 25, let me just share some stories of when I lived with Kris. Kris is actually a decent cook. I am not. That winter we went over to Crissy's house and she made a pomegranate cheesecake that was amazing. So then I decided I would make one, but I read the receipe wrong and literally put 10 times the amount of gelatin in that I was supposed. The boys told me it looked like mashed potatoes and I had to agree. Then I decide I would make fudge and found this receipe that was called "No Fail Fudge." Perfect for me right? Wrong. I sat patiently stirring the fudge wondering why this dark brown streaks were coming to the top, but just figured it was burning a bit. Then I pulled the plastic spoon out and realized about an inch of the spoon had melted into the fudge. Kris still ate it and just spat the plastic out.

OK so my 25th birthday came and was a blast and then 2 days later was Kris's 25th birthday so we celebrated it with Sherah, Wes, Kris, and I at our house and it was a great night, but we won't go into any details to keep everyone's reputation safe. : )

For New Years I went up to Rochester to spend time with Ryan and his family. I had met his mom, brother and sister before briefly, but he wanted me to get to know them better under our new context. It was a fun New Years, but hard as Ryan was in a really dark place in his life and finally decided that he wanted to protect me from it all and protect himself from the hurt of another relationship. It was hard because always before I was the one who ended the relationships so this time when I had no control over the outcome and I was not only losing the person I cared about deeply, but also one of my best friends. I was so glad that Kris lived just downstairs and Sherah and I were working together at that time because I needed to be surrounded by people I loved and who loved me to get through that. When I got home, I wasn't sleeping well because of all of it and I remember Crissy coming over to see me one day. Her & Kris and I were sitting in the living room talking and I started a sentence and then fell asleep in the middle over it for a few seconds, and then woke up and finished the sentence. I wish I had a camera of the 2 of their confused faces when I woke up and they asked, "Did you just fall asleep?"

The next few weeks I decided that I was going to go on some dates to start moving on. I went on some dates with my UPS man who had been interested in me for awhile and then I was set up on a blind date with "Joe." I had talked with him on the phone beforehand and he had told me that people refer to him as Johnny Cash. I thought that was cool- I am a Cash fan. I also knew that Sherah had told him that he should take me out to Italian food instead of a steakhouse. Well he comes to pick me up and has a creepy mustache, black high topped sneakers and metallica floor mat and stickers in his car, but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. He took me on a scenic walk about the Steakhouse he took me too (remeber Sherah had told him not to bring me to a steakhouse) past dumpsters, informed me I was an expensive date even though I picked the cheapest meal & offered to pay, bragged to about how much money he made and how he had given the waiter a huge tip. He suggested we go see a movie and said I could pick what we saw, but when I made a suggestion, he said, "Actually, I think we should go see James Bond. I have already watched it 3 times and it was really good." At this point I should have just asked him to take me home, but he started appologizing about how lame of a date he was, etc so I felt bad, but in my head I was baffled and really it felt like an out of body experience like I was watching a bad reality show. At the end of the 7 HOUR date, he drove me home blaring heavy metal the whole way and after he informed me, "I guess I should do the gentlemanly thing and walk you to your door", he asked me if I would like to go out again sometime. No thanks, but thanks for the great story that we have gotten lots of giggles about. I swore off blind dates after that one.

That summer Kris moved down to Honduras because he had fallen in love and I got the cutest, fluffiest kitten you have ever seen and after being told she was a girl, I name her Princess Sasha and bought her pink EVERYTHING. When I took her for an appointment a few months later, the doctor said, "This cat has balls" and the Princess got dropped from HIS name.

That year we had been doing alot to connect and bond the pastors in our area. The culmination of our efforts was the 7/20 Gathering which was a 12 hour prayer and praise event at the local high school stadium. I was in charge of the administration and we invited every church and business in the area to it. It was an insanely huge project and we had a college intern at the church that summer to help us with the project and somehow we pulled it off and had about 4000 people attend. It really showed me that I had way more ability then I ever realized. The week after the event Sherah and Vish went on family vacation and I realized suffered from a huge lack of purpose. I had spent months in a crazy rush working long hours, eatting, sleeping & breathing this project and it was over in one day. Ben the intern would read to me outloud that week to cheer me up and come up with fun adventures for us.

That summer I drove up to New Hampshire and got to see my grandparents one more time living in their house that they had lived in all my life. Dan and Nova were visiting New Hampshire too and we stayed with some of their friends. Dan and I started talking about the ship years after everyone else had fallen asleep and we laughed for hours about funny old memories.

In October I had to get my wisdom teeth removed. Bri drove me to my appointment and loved laughing when I came to after the surgery and I couldn't stop laughing. I actually remember the nurse trying to talk to me and being annoyed that I wasn't listening because I was so busy laughing, but I couldn't help it. I spent the afternoon at the Bumbaughs and Micah loved it because I was still on heavy meds and sat and listened to him talk about hunting forever as I had my bag of frozen peas on my face. Lane came into town and picked me up from there to take me home and take care of me that night. Princess Sasha LOVED Lane!

24

24 was my first birthday in my new house. A few weeks before, Nate and I had gone on a date and had to run to a store for something and had seen this tall kitchen table that we fell in love with. We sat at it and talked for a few hours til the store closed and they kicked us out. Well he surprised me and bought the table for me for my birthday. We celebrated at the Bumbaughs. A few weeks later, I knew what I needed to do. Again I had fallen in love with someone who I knew was not a good match for me. Nate was wonderful, but I knew that my sensitive spirit that I have battled to keep throughout life would be killed in the process of a life together so I ended it. Melanie came home that Christmas and it was a much needed distraction from the saddness in my heart. I told Nate when we broke up that one of the saddest things to me was going to be losing his friends and he said he still wanted me to be friends with them. So I did and they have been the best thing to ever come out of one of my dating relationships. Actually Michelle and I coined ourselves the "sneaky snakes" because while Nate and I were dating, and then still afterwards we would have all kinds of secret adventures. She was always WAY better at not telling on ourselves than I was. : )

That spring I spent alot of time with the Bumbaughs and also with Maria. She was planning her wedding and I was in the wedding and so we had lots of fun planning and watching reality tv and dreaming about our futures. Lane also decided to apply at dental schools on the East Coast to be close to me and then when he didn't get into them (it is CRAZY competitive) he got a job and requested the east coast region. He came to visit several times during the search period and then when he would travel through for his job.

I meanwhile got a part time job at a coffee shop called Big Oak Cafe and loved it and the new friends I made especially Josh and Biz(zle). We had so much fun together.

That summer Kris Cole moved into the downstair apartment of my house. We had so much fun being roommates. We had always been good friends and it was nice having someone else in the house, especially someone who knew me so well. We both had so much going on that year that it was wonderful having a best friend living in your house to be a support. Also, we loved watching CSI together, but usually ended up hiding under blankets because it was just too scary. Also, having Kris move in meant that we had Wesley as an honorary housemate and they loved to tease me when we would all be sitting watching Myth Busters and I would pull out my knitting needles.

That Thanksgiving Ryan came to visit me. We hadn't seen each other in awhile and we spent the afternoon catching up and I had forgotten how much he made me laugh. He had moved to Rochester, NY, and was trying to get his life back on track. After he went home, he contacted me again and asked if he could come back to see me the next week for my birthday. Of course I was so excited to get to see him again and it was fun having Kris and Wesley get to meet him. The 2nd night he was there, after everyone else had gone to bed, finally the truth came out that he had liked me for years and I finally was able to admit to myself that I had always felt the same way about him, but had hidden it from the first day because the timing had been so off. What surprised me was how deeply I cared for him. Never in my life has a person so known me that they already knew what I was thinking, feeling, or how I would react before I even did. Never before had someone protected me so fiercely as he had.

A PA Girl at 23!

My 23rd birthday I was feeling alittle blue for some reason. Then I went over to Selena's and all of a sudden Vish and Alan showed up in the living room wearing tiaras and with cupcakes for me and the day instantly improved. It got even better when Crissy, Mel, and Wesley showed up.

There are some things that you get so well engrained into you and they come out in the funniest times. I am a VERY sound sleeper. I can sleep through pretty much anything. Well one night I woke up to Melanie in my room in the middle of the night yelling about fire and pulling open my curtains to show me the flames in one of the houses that shared our backyard. There were propane tanks exploding, emergecy vehicles racing down the road and I had been sleeping through it all. Well I went into safety drill mode after years of practicing for fires on the ship. I starting pulling on clothes and shoes and yelling to the girls to grab their purses and valuables. The wind had been out of control that day and the houses were close so we were very scared. We went into the back yard with the rest of the neighbors and watched as the firemen tried to contain the fire, but it was a complete loss. It did not pass to any other houses luckily though. Mel climbed back into bed with me and we watched the flames as they finally burned the rest of the way down.

I went to England again that year for Christmas and had so much fun, but got sick while I was there. Then when I flew home, Ryan came to visit and stay with me for New Years. He had had a rough fall because as I figured, his gf broke up with him the day I moved away, then he had lost me to PA and he didn't want to be living in TX amoung other things. That New Years Eve was freakishly warm and I enjoyed bringing him to meet alot of my PA friends and then we sat out on my porch the rest of the night in our t-shirts talking about life and love. I was so sad when he left because I missed my friend dearly. He decided to move to California shortly after that trip.

Melanie had gotten engaged shortly after I moved in and set her wedding date. One day that winter we got snowed in. I had my own room and April and Mel shared a room. I went over and climbed into bed with Mel. April was close with us, but wasn't as much of the touchy feely person that Mel and I were so we were alittle surpised when April came over and climbed into the bed too. We were talking and finally April goes, "When are you guys going to notice the diamond on my finger?" We freaked out because we didn't know April was so close to engagement! We spent the day playing in the snow and then Erik came over and we made them play games with us the rest of the evening. April and Erik set their wedding date which was the same weekend as Mel's. Which meant that I was going to be losing both of my roommates the same weekend. I didn't know what I was going to do about my living situation and so the Strites offered to let me move into their house until I figured out what I was going to do.

Shortly after moving in with the Strites, Bri had decided that she wanted me to meet her husband's cute and single best friend. The boys played on a church softball team and so I went with her and Michelle to the game to meet this boy. Well someone else had other plans. Michelle's husband's best friend was also cute and single and had seen pics of me and been hearing stories and he had heard I was going to the game and he made sure to come up to me right after the game and let me know who he was. We all went out for pizza afterwards and I started getting to know these guys a bit. Nate was outgoing and super funny where as the other boy was shy and quiet. I found out that they both had asked for my number and Bri asked me which I wanted her to give it to. I picked Nate, but I was headed down to TX for Rachel's wedding for a week and I forgot my phone in my ride's car so I didn't have my phone the whole week. Meanwhile Nate was home telling my friends that he loved the sparkle in my eyes and my friends were hooked.

I got to TX and stayed with Jess and her family the first few days, but Lane was in town and had a car and he had been calling and e-mailing me lots that year so we spent all our time together that week. He took me to my dress fitting and I came out in my dress and there was a sash on the dress. The seamstress was down at my hem pinning the dress as Lane watched and I went to ask her about what to do with the sash, but in my clutziness, I accidentally wacked her in the head with it. I probably would have been able to keep the giggles in, but Lane busted out laughing and I lost control of the laughter. The seamstress didn't have nearly the sense of humor about it as we did (for the record, she was not hurt in the process). TX is HOT in the summer. HOT HOT HOT. After the fitting, Lane and I had to get something to eat. Normally i am not high maintance and easy going, but when I get hot it's a whole other story. I said I wanted to eat at Sonic, but we got there and Lane had a black car and so I said I didn't want to eat there. I proceeded to do this about 3 more locations before I decided where I wanted to eat. Lane thought this sudden burst of indecisive high maintance was HILARIOUS and teased me about it for years later. I had so much fun seeing my old friends around the wedding especially my friend Jeremy who had turned into a grown man in the year I had been gone. I have anxiety when all attention is focused on me so I was SO nervous right before walking down the aisle, but Rachel had arranged it that the groomsmen walked down the aisle with us instead of meeting them at the alter and Lane was my groomsmen and gave me a pep talk right before I walked in that I knew almost everyone there. It was actually my favorite wedding I have been in because I knew everyone and Jeremy and I danced the reception away. The next day was July 4th. Early that morning Katie, Lane and I sat in the anchorage and I cried because I missed Rachel already. I was nervous about going home because I had a crazy 3 weeks when I got home getting ready to go to South Africa and also, my sister had asked me to be in the birthing room when she had her first son. Lane and I drove the last of the guests to Dallas after that, then drove around Van where I showed him everywhere I had memories. We were headed back to the base to pack up our stuff and then we were going to head into Tyler to meet up with Jessica and Jared and watch the fireworks. We got to the base and Lane answered his phone and started screaming. His brother-in-law who was like a brother to him had just drowned. I stood there in shock as Lane ran around throwing his stuff in his car and asking me how that could have happened. I just kept telling him that I didn't know, but that Lane was going to be ok. Lane left for AR and I sank down to the ground. A guy I had lived on the ship with drove by on his bike and asked if I were ok and I told him what happened and that I needed to call Rachel's parents, but didn't have a phone. He took me to his dorm and found their number for me and had to dial the phone for me because I was shaking too bad to dial. Ellie came to be with me as I packed and then drove me to watch the fireworks at Fatherheart and Jeremy just sat there holding my hand as I cried the whole evening. I borrowed her phone to call Lane throughout the evening because I was scared for him driving the whole way home by himself in his emotional state.

I flew home the next day. While I was gone Nate had called to ask me out. I was nervous to go because of all the craziness, but I knew it was either go out on a date or stay home and cry all evening. Rachel called me as I was getting ready for the date and she was crying and I started bawling again, but finally got myself composed. The date was actually also with Micah and Michelle & Bri and Ryan. Micah told the CHEESIEST jokes all evening and Nate complained to me that it was hard going on a date with his best friend because he stole all the jokes and I thought, "I wouldn't claim those jokes if I were you." : ) (I know think Micah is hilarious BTW) Nate and I started hanging out everyday after that, I met his family and he soon asked me to be his girlfriend. About a week later Vish took me along with him to look at an apartment that I thought he wanted to buy, but after the tour, he turned to me and asked if I liked it. I said yes and he said, "I think you should put an offer in for it." I did that day and got pre-approved for financing. I was also still supposed to leave soon for South Africa and Jill was over due to have Reid. I was so panicked that she wasn't going to go into labor soon enough. At 5 AM the day before I was supposed to leave, I got the call that she was in labor. I went and spent the day and evening with her and Micah in the hospital and Reid didn't seem to want to enter the world. Finally in the wee hours of the morning he came out, I kissed him, and headed back home in enough time to finish packing, kiss Nate goodbye and head to the airport. I slept the entire way to South Africa. The scariest thing about watching Jill in labor was that she didn't talk. I was so relieved when Reid was finally born and she started talking right away. I also was freaking out as the doctors flopped Reid around. He was such a cutie though!

Nate and I spent that fall at his softball games, ripping down wall paper, getting my house ready for my move and spending time with Micah & Michelle. I LOVED getting to know the Bumbaughs! I moved in a few days before my birthday and I had to go to work at my part time job that evening. Selena stayed and unpacked a ton of my stuff for me. The next evening I was hanging out with Nate wearing my pajamas and he said to me, "Maybe you should get dressed in real clothes." I thought it was kinda weird, but I went up and changed. Then the doorbell rang and it was Michelle and Bri. I thought it was nice that they had stopped by and then the doorbell rang again and it was Selena and Crissy. How nice that my friends all wanted to stop by to see me... at the same time... This happened a few more times before I realized what was happening, once again they had all planned a surprise party for me and I was TOTALLY oblivious! They had even written to Melanie who was living in Haiti to send me a note of happy housewarming.

Living the Life at 22!

Shortly after my 22nd birthday, I headed to England for Christmas with my parents. After my tramatic first visit, I was scared to death of England so that trip was really great for me to see that England is actually an amazing place. They were living in the north in New Castle and I quickly fell in love with the English country side and with shopping at H & M. As a pre-teen we had watched the Christy movies and I had fallen in love with the Scottish doctor and his accent. Then while living on the ship whenever a Scottish person would come onboard, I LOVED sitting and listening to them talk so it was also nice being friends with Rachel and her family who were Scottish. I had always wanted to go to Scotland and my family said for years that I needed to marry a Scottish man. Well my mom surprised me on that visit with train tickets up to Edinburgh for the day. We ate cotton candy, explored the city, took pics with every statue, and had one of the best days ever! Dan and Martha were also there for Christmas and then Jill came a day later. I loved being together with the whole family.

When I got back to TX, I started thinking seriously about moving to PA, but wanted a sign that it was a good idea. Within a week of deciding that, Jill called me and said she had some funny news. Her and Micah had gone house hunting and bought a house... in PA! I contacted Crissy and Selena and told them of my plans to move.

That Spring was a fun one. Jessica would come over and watch reality tv with me and knit. She had started making Jared a throw blanket for Jared which turned into like a king sized quilt. I made about 25 scarves. Having a boy join our group was fun too. We became alittle family. We taught Ryan about women and he loved giving us insights into the male brain. We all looked out for each other. I remember one day I was going to drive to Dallas and Jess and Ryan came outside, checked my cars fluids, kept reminding me to be safe and waved as I drove away. I did actually get in my first car accident that day in Dallas and when I opened my wallet, realized that my friend Andy had thought it would be a funny joke to switch our license. Try explaining to a lady who speaks no English why my license had a picture of a 24 year old male on it. For Ryan's 21st birthday, his girlfriend hadn't done anything fun for him so Jessica, Jared, and I took him out for drinks. Then we went mini golfing and then decided to get real crazy and went bowling too in the same night. : ) I did find out the hard way that drinks and bowling should not be mixed and ended up with the mother of all bruises on my leg. Ryan was the sweetest friend and would make me communicate when I was upset and when I would cry, he would bring me little gifts to cheer me up. There was a lady who worked with me who was in her 50s and she would always say, "He likes you, you know. You really need to date." And I would remind her that he had a girlfriend, but then he would come in with another little present for me and she would give me that, "I'm right" look. We just remained sweet friends though.

Rachel had been telling me for awhile about her friend Lane who had seen pictures of me from our road trip to Houston and had told Rachel he had to meet me. Then we would end up telling her about all the same music and movies she had to check out and it was decided that we had to meet. I got a call from Lane one day and he invited me to drive up and stay with them for a weekend and then be his date to their spring formal dance. I drove up to College of the Ozarks and the first night he took me out to a show. I was in love with someone else at the time, but we became fast friends. A few weeks later Rachel came home for the summer and Lane, Dave, and some of her other friends drove her down and they all stayed at my house. We had so much fun playing sardines at the base and hanging out in Dallas. Rachel's parent's were in Scotland that summer, but Rachel had to take a class so Rachel and I spent the summer cooking our dinners together, swimming almost everyday, and being each other's family. She had a wedding that she really wanted to go to up in MO so against her dad's advice, we drove up to AR to Lane's house and then Lane drove us the rest of the way. One of the funniest things about Rachel is that she freaks out whenever she wakes up. Lane would come into our room in the mornings to wake us up and I would peacefully open my eyes, and then Rachel would wake up and gasp or yell and it would make me freak out each time and Lane would just stand there laughing. We had such a wonderful time with Lane, but then we left his house to head home and got stuck in a traffic jam on a bridge in Little Rock, AR which was halfway between Lane's and home. All of a sudden Rachel said, "Is that smoke coming from our hood?" We pulled over and got some coolant to pour in, but Rachel figured out it was the wrong kind. After we had poured it in. It was Sunday so garages were closed and we got to a Walmart, but the guys at the tire and lube department wouldn't help us because of the liability issues. Both of our dads were out of the country and we were getting followed around by scary guys. Both our phones were dying and we were trying to figure out if we should call Ryan or Lane with what little battery we still had to come rescue us. We called Lane and when he heard he wanted to jump in his car and come get us, but we knew there wasn't much he could do. We were strong for alittle while, but it got to be too much and we both started bawling. The guys working in the tire and lube couldn't handle how pathetic we looked sitting there bawling our eyes out so one came out and checked the car, helped us put more coolant in and told us we would be fine to drive the rest of the way home.

Selena found me an apartment and a job in PA so I planned to move to PA the end of July. Ryan had this girlfriend who Jess and I were not big fans of because she wasn't very nice to Ryan, but he was loyal to her and would sometimes flake on us to hang out with her. Well one day Ryan said to me that he had some boxes at his apartment for me for packing up my stuff. I was over at Jessica's and Ryan called me and started acting like he was going to flake on me because he knew how mad I would get. Well I needed boxes and couldn't believe he was flaking and I got furious! I rushed over to his apartment and started pounding on his door SO angry. He opened the door with a super mischievious smile on his face and I stormed in so worked up that when I saw a few of my friends in there it didn't even register why they were there. All of a sudden I realized that ALL of my friends were there and then I realized it was a surprise going away party for me and he knew me so well that he had thrown me so well off track that I didn't suspect at all. The next day Jill flew into DFW and Rachel, Jess and Ryan came to the airport with me to pick her up and before hand we had one last dinner together talking about our hopes and dreams for the future.

Jill and I had a fun road trip up to PA. My parents had taken a road trip up North a few months earlier so had taken most of my stuff up to Micah and Jill's for me. I remember thinking that I almost hoped the van would get stolen because I was overwhelmed with how much stuff I had. I moved into a town house with Melanie and April and I remember them being so shocked how many shoes I had. The first night I was unpacking and feeling alittle minute of remorse and wondering if I had done the right thing in moving. I had almost started to cry and Melanie walked into my room with a scary night gown and a pair of HUGE thick glasses on and said, "Sometimes when I feel sad, I put these on and remember how much worse it could get." From that moment on we were kindred spirits! I loved living in PA, loved living with Mel and April, loved helping Crissy with her wedding, loved that I arrived just in time for Selena to give birth to Jadon. The church had a camping trip shortly after I started working there and it was a wonderful way to get to know people!

Jessica came to visit a few weeks after I moved there. It was fun having her meet people and introducing her to Sherah since they were both leaving for their DTS that fall.

Legally 21!

21 had a rough start. The day after my 21st, Stefan and I broke up for good. It was super hard for me to do because I loved him deeply, but knew us together was not what I wanted for my future. Also, since I had started dating him only a month after getting out of a 2 year relationship with Stu, I basically felt like I was processing almost 4 years of relationships. I remember crying the whole way to work, praying all through the day that I would make it through without any tears, crying the whole way home and climbing into bed when I got there. My parents were very supportive during that time and luckily I worked with Jessica who is the best in situations of pain like that because she is not afraid of pain and spending time with her is always like therapy to me. I actually remember friends coming to visit me in my bed during that time. Ricci and Jeremy found out they were pregnant that Christmas. We spent that Spring adjusting to our new situations we found ourselves in. I would go spend every weekend at their apartment.

That New Years was no Times Square, but Rachel was home on break and we New Years painting each other's nails, singing, and watched the ball drop twice, once at Eastern Time and then again at Central Time.

Easter morning I woke up. My mom was out of town so it was just Pappy and I home. I walked out in my normal morning oblivious haze, poured myself some cereal and plopped down on the couch. Pappy was sitting at his desk and asked me if I noticed anything. I didn't, but as I looked harder, I realized that he had done an easter egg hunt for me before I woke up. His hiding places were SO creative that I have no clue how long it would have taken me to notice it if he hadn't told me. I had so much fun running around collecting the eggs!

One thing that I was excited about with my new singleness was going and getting my nose pierced. Jessica came with me and when we arrived at the place, there was a big burly biker dude who pierced my nose. Jessica was in massage therapy school at the time and she gasped when she saw him because he was in her class. Her next day back in class she was running late and when they had to partner up to practive massaging each other, she got stuck with him.

Ricci and Jeremy really wanted me to hook up with their friend Ryan Brown who I had met at Thanksgiving, but I was not ready for a new relationship at all. They were always trying to arrange for us to spend time together, but it only worked out one time.

That summer my parents had to move to England to work on the renovation of the newest Mercy Ship. I stayed in TX in their house by myself.

That fall Liz and Jordan were getting married. I decided to fly to CT for the wedding, then take the train to NJ to visit Jill & Micah, and I decided last minute to then take the train to PA to visit Selena, Crissy, and Wesley. At the time I really wanted to move back to CT. I got there and had such an amazing time with all of my friends at the wedding and in New Haven. Then I got to Jill's and had such a great time with her and Micah and they were talking about where they were thinking about possibly moving and I thought it would be fun to live near them. Then headed to PA. And I knew that that was where my heart was. I had always dreamed of living there near my friends and I had nothing tying me down. I didn't say anything to them, but I just knew what my decision was. While I was in New Haven I received a call from Jess saying that there was a new guy that had been hired in Fulfillment when I was away that everyone wanted me to hook up with. I started asking about him and she said, "Well, it's kinda confusing because he has a real name, and then a seperate name that he goes by." I said, "Michael Rogich, but goes by Ryan Brown?" Sure enough Ryan had started working there while I was away. I knew he had a girlfriend by that point and let all the ladies who were trying to set us up know, but he added so much fun to our lives at work and after work.

Jessica and I were both feeling alittle blue about life and living in TX. We cheered ourselves up with many dance parties and we decided that we were going to have tons of fun over the holidays. We decided to get a group together to go to Six Flags when it was decked out for Halloween. I am not sure what I was thinking because I hate scary Halloween things, but we had a great time for most of the day and Ryan came along which was our first time hanging out with him outside of work. For some reason a bunch of us decided to go through this haunted house. They paired us off and I ended up with Jessica's friend Reese who I had just met that day. We start walking through and I grabbed onto him in fright of the house and he wrapped his arms around me and said, "Sorry, I know I just met you, but this is scary!" I was so terrified that I literally ended up INSIDE his shirt to hide from all the horror by the end of the tour. : ) Talk about quick and embarrasing friendship bonding!

Dreams coming true at 20

20 started with a few more dreams being fulfilled for me. Since I was 16 and had to read Les Miserables, I had been dying to see the Broadway play. I remember Stefan told me that he had a surprise for me for my birthday and asking what I thought it was and I was too afraid to hope that that could be it because that was what I wanted most, but sure enough my 20th birthday came and he had arranged to take me to NYC to see it. The year before while watching the ball drop on TV, I had mentioned outloud, "Someday I am going to spend New Years in Time Square and see the ball drop in person" to which the people with me just laughed at me. Well New Years when I was 20, Stefan, his sister, Liz, Jordan, and I headed to Time Square and saw it live. I was freezing and the ball was WAY smaller than I thought it would be, but it was amazing to fulfill something I had wanted to do and I think everyone should spend at least 1 New Years in Time Square. It happened to be right after 9/11 and the security was CRAZY that year and as the confetti fell at midnight Stefan said, "I bet this is laced with anthrax." Luckily we survived.

That May Stefan and I broke up and shortly after, I headed to TX for Jill's wedding. After the hustle and bustle of New Haven, I basked in the slow quiet pace of Van. I spent a month in TX hanging out with Rachel and Jessica and working in the Mercy Ships mailroom. That was such a fun summer. My last weekend before heading back to CT, Rachel, Genae, Tamar and I took a road trip to Houston to pick up Laura. We listened to the Moulin Rouge soundtrack the whole way, went to the beach, musuems, and had so much fun. Then we picked Laura up and stopped at a gas station. Laura went to put more oil in the car, but poured it down the wrong spot and hot oil splashed up in her face. None of us had seen it happened, but Laura was crying and yelling and we were paralysed with fear. The owner of the gas station finally called an ambulance and Laura was rushed to the hospital. Luckily she didn't have any lasting facial scars, but it was such a scary situation.

I headed back to CT, but met with the YWAM leadership and told them that I would be moving back to TX 6 weeks later. Those 6 weeks were a sweet time of rest, spending quality time with people I loved before heading back to TX and restoration with Steef. The week before I moved, all of YWAM New Haven road tripped to IL for Ricci and Jeremy's wedding. Emily, Stefan, Brian and I drove together and had so much fun. Then on the way home, our car broke down and we got stuck at Emily's parents house for several days of forced rest and vacation.

Ricci and Jeremy decided to spend their first married year in TX. Stefan was able to get a job in TX for the fall staffing a DTS at Mercy Ships so we all moved back down and adjusted to TX life. I got a job at Mercy Ships working in Donor Services and helping in the mailroom. I also started taking dance classes with Jessica and Ashlee at the local YWAM base. I LOVED my tap and hip hop classes!

That Thanksgiving, did Thanksgiving Dinner in Ricci and Jeremy's little apartment with Steef, Josh Clark, Devon, and that was the first day I met Ryan.

More big changes at 19

Right after Christmas I headed out to New Haven. But not before I got a perm. Yes, yes I did. I was feeling alittle guilty because I felt bad leaving my parents with no children at home. They managed just fine though. I didn’t sleep much the night before I left because I was packing and spending time with Stu before I left for 7 months so I arrived in CT sleep deprived and unsure about my decision. Jesse showed me around the 2 YWAM houses and I met 1 of my roommates Brittany who I thought I would have nothing in common with. Jesse let me go sleep in her room for a few hours and I layed there and cried and cried. Then everyone moved into our little house on Orange Street, classes started and I realized this was one of the best decisions I ever made. New Haven was BEAUTIFUL, I was so wrong about Brittany- she was amazing as were my other 2 roommies Emily and Erika, and I loved the people on our school. The staff teased me because within the first month I had broken up with my boyfriend from back home and had dyed my hair dark red which are 2 things that normally are bad signs and they hadn't expected it from me because I had been around YWAM for so long. New Haven was super snowy that winter and we had so much fun playing in the snow and since we walked everywhere and didn't have cars, we didn't have to worry about driving in it.

One of the things that I love about living in community are the fun celebrations around holidays. Without us girls knowing, the boys decided the week before Valentines Day to each take one of the girls and do nice things for her all week (our school actually had an even number of boys and girls). We came home each day to flowers, or sweet notes, or treats on our beds. We thought it was so sweet that on Valentines night, we invited them to a big meal that we cooked, decorated for, served them, and did a presentation for them. I was of course in charge of coming up with romantic quotes and scriptures and that is when I fell in love with "Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death."

There was one thing that had made me have 2nd thoughts about attending the school. That was the fact that Stefan was going to be on it. I had spent the last few years carefully avoiding him. The problem was his 2 best friends were on it and I was friends with Jordan and Aaron from the past so I naturally hung out with them the first few weeks of the school, but tried to avoid Stefan. He kept trying to get me to spend time with him and I kept saying no. Then one night he knew I needed to go do laundry at the laundry mat and asked if he could come along. I relented and we spent the evening doing laundry and started talking about the past and realized the reason that we weren't friends held no value. We quickly realized we still had feelings for each other and started dating.

Jill had also started dating Micah and that Easter I invited Dave and Stefan to come with me to Jill's to spend it with Jill, Micah, and Dan who was visiting from NH.

One weekend Crissy, Selena, Wesley and Dan all came to New Haven to visit me. We rented a hotel and spent the weekend having tickle wars, exploring New Haven and having long talks as more grown up versions of ourselves.

After the 5 month lecture phase was over we headed first to England for 2 weeks and then traveled to Paris, Florence, Rome, Switzerland, Croatia and then a boat to Bosnia, Serbia and then flew to Greece. England was both fun (because Cari had moved there and we got to spend time together) and hard (because the atmosphere was very heavy & dark, we didn't have any time off, and I had several experiences of men trying to attack me). I loved traveling across Europe. Rome was amazing because it was so over the top. My day in Paris could have been out of a movie. Switzerland was the most beautiful place on earth. Croatia was a dreamland. We got to Bosnia and I was shocked. It was 2001 and the war had just recently ended and the destruction was everywhere. Bombed out buildings, no jobs, serious depression, and strong warnings not to go off the path or road because of bombs. I was shocked how much I didn't know about the world when I saw that. 5 of us stayed with a sweet Muslim family. The parents didn't speak English, but the 2 kids (who were our ages) did. They had several friends in the neighborhood who everynight would gather on their porch and hang out and talk for hours so we would join them everynight and I loved getting to know them and their experiences. Sometimes we would talk about the horrors they had exerienced, some nights we would just tell jokes and laugh for hours. Some nights we would talk about what we desired in life. It was amazing. They mother of the family insisted on wasing our laundry and hanging it to dry outside the house. One morning we were eatting breakfast in their kitchen and I looked out the window and pinned on the line in full view of anyone looking out the window were my Boxer Joe panties that had a big smiley face on the butt. Only me.

After our school was over, I decided that I wanted to return to staff, but first went home for a few months to get ready to move. During that time 9/11 happened. Jill was in the city that day for jury duty and called me when she managed to cross the bridge before they closed down. I didn't realize the extent of what had happened and was still on a high after receiving a letter in the mail from Stefan who was in Africa during that time. It really wasn't til I moved back to CT a few weeks later and we went to the city and experienced it that the horror sank in. The night I moved back to CT, New Haven put off fireworks without warning the citizens. The 911 phonelines received SO many calls that you couldn't get through and they had to start putting emergency broadcasts on tv and radio to let people know it wasn't an emergency.

Entering adulthood at 18

I can not for the life of me remember my 18th birthday. Things started getting brighter that spring. Stu and I ended up getting back together and prom was coming up. Also, Martha had given birth to her first child Daniel and she flew over to the States right before prom and stayed til the day after I graduated. Ashlee and I were SO excited about prom. Mom actually picked out my prom dress at Marshalls and I LOVED it. I wore it around the house tons before prom arrived. Then the big day came. Ashlee and I went over to Christina’s house and she did our hair and makeup. Stu had borrowed a car and came to pick me up, but not before we took about a million pictures at both our houses. We went out for dinner, but the real fun started when we got to prom and met up with all our friends. Stu wasn’t a big dancer and that was the night that I realized that I actually WAS a big dancer. Our friends danced and danced and danced. It was so much fun. Stu’s mom wanted to have a big all night party for us after prom and had hired a kareokee machine and made tons of food and had gone all out decorating the house. The problem was that we were all EXHAUSTED by the time prom was over. And if anyone has seen me when I am tired and am not allowed to sleep, it is not a pretty sight! So we got to his house and after about an hour we all fell asleep. The poor lady was ready to party and we were all party poopers so she went around trying to wake us up, but finally realized it was a lost cause.

Finally graduation was near. One super sweet memory was that one morning I was awoken by the other Mercy Ships youth “kidnapping” me taking me and the other Mercy Ship seniors out for breakfast at the Dinner Bell.

That summer Ashlee and I went to a dance camp at the YWAM base. We had such a blast and started a dance team at the church. I LOVED being able to perform again and I loved dancing.

I was unsure what I wanted to do after graduation so I started a semester at Tyler Junior College and took a dance class, an intro to business class, an intro to teaching class, and a photography class. I LOVED my photography class. It was back when we still learned to process pics in the darkroom and my class was such an eccentric mix of students and we really bonded.

I found out that the Rick and Brenda Lewis, Jesse and some of the other staff of my first X-treme Summer trip had started a YWAM base in New Haven, CT, were starting a school called the Forum which was a 7 month program. I had applied and been accepted to do my DTS on the Anastasis, but when I found out about the school in New Have, I applied and was excepted. The thought of leaving TX and my friends, boyfriend, and family behind was both scary and exciting. I knew it was an oppurtunity that I couldn't pass up.

17

It’s so funny thinking about how different technology was when I was 17. On my first day in Van, I saw a boy Stu who my friend Steven had introduced me to that summer. He came up to me in the hall before our first class and asked if he could help me find my class. He looked at my schedule and we realized that we had the first 3 periods together so we sat together in all of them. The zipper of my backpack got stuck at one point and he tried to get it unstuck for me and it broke off in his hand and he felt SO bad. He also went to CCF youth group and played in a band. I was intrigued. I was actually spending time with Stefan outside of school, but some things happened and that fizzled and after that I started to have a crush on Stu. My family knew about this and so one day over Christmas break the phone rang and my mom rushes into my room, “Stu is on the phone asking for you.” At that point we didn’t even own a cordless phone much less cell phones. I went out to talk to him in the living room and my parents and Dan who was home for break all conviently found important things they HAD to do in the living room right then of course. It took several more months and a lot of encouragement from our friends, but in March he finally told me he liked me which was good because the anticipation of if he was ever going to ask me out almost killed me!

When Dan would stay at the house, he would sleep on an air mattress. One of our favorite things to do was lay on the mattress as it inflated and at the last minute it would pop us up. The funniest times were when I had my foam curlers I would sleep in in because it made me look extra nerdy.

I didn't get my liscence til the summer when I was 17. Before that Dad or Mom would drive me to school. Sometimes Dad would drive me in one of the Mercy Ships vehicles that he liked to call the "Bat Mobile." It was SO loud and SO ugly that I would make him drop me off in the front of the school instead of the back where the majority of the kids came in to school. Because of my extreme embarrasement, he also took great joy in honking the horn as I was getting out of the car at the school. He also reminded me today that I would slink down in the seat and hide as he would rev the engine as we passed the police station.

That spring Miss Kelly and Andy got married so I flew out to the wedding. I was SO happy that they were getting married since I had seen their relationship from the beginning on the ship. Keri, Jeff, and I were all in the wedding. Since we didn't have the dresses til we got there, I didn't realize how long they were. I was walking down the aisle with Kelly's brother who I thought was super hot. My one hand was looped through his arm and the other was holding my flowers. All was well til I got to the 3 steps up to the stage. Step 1: Step on dress. Step 2: Step further onto dress. Step 3: 3rd step even deeper into dress and boy had to drag me to my feet. I was SO embarrassed, but just starting laughing. Then the next 2 bridesmaids came up the aisle and did the same thing. Since their backs were to the audience, they couldn't see what was going on, but I could and I was laughing so hard there were tears streaming down my face. I was feeling very bad and unprofessional in my bridesmaid duties, but Kelly's mom was in the front row and could see it all and was laughing with me just as much.

In May, we had a Mercy Ships retreat. There was a swimming pool and a river that we could swim in. Rachel and I decided that that night all of us Mercy Ships teen girls were going to go skinny dipping after it got dark and we were SO excited! That day we all had gone swimming for several hours and none of us thought to put sunscreen on. We planned how we were going to ditch the boys after spending the evening playing cards with them, but as the evening wore on, we got more and more sore and red and finally realized the extent of our sunburns. It was so bad that the thought of jumping in the water was painful. Instead we ditched the boys, put on the most loosely fitting clothes we could find, grabbed some snacks and found a place where we could tell secrets and talked into the wee hours of the morning.

That summer was a really hard one. I have always believed that travel was a good determination of whether a relationship could work or not. A group of us from our youth group went to the Philippeans and Stu and I were both on it. Let’s just say that we broke up shortly after. That trip was really hard for lots of reasons, and when we got back to the US, our youth group basically dissolved and many of us were devasted about a lot of things that had happened.

That summer when I arrived home from the Phillipeans, Crissy and Selena came to visit. Selena has just met this man Vishal and was nervous because he was coming to PA when she went home.

Starting my senior year was really hard with everything going on. Some of my sweetest memories were of my Mercy Ships youth friends especially Peter, Rachel, Doug, and Cari. We were always creating adventures and I would not have passed Algebra 2 that year without Peter!

Sweet 16

16 was my favorite birthday to date. It started very early. Phillip knew that I had been born at 12:07AM so he and all his friends attacked me with hugs at that time. My friend Caleb (who was in the Teen Missions blog and ended up moving onto the ship) was a baker onboard so every morning when he would put the bread in the oven at around 5AM, he would come to my cabin and wake me up by sitting on the end of my bed and talking to me til the bread was ready and I would fall back asleep til it was time to get up for school. Well that morning he came into my cabin with a birthday cupcake for me with a lit match for me to blow out since candles were not allowed on the ship. Kelly made signs and hung them all over the ship reminding people to wish me happy birthday. That year I had a cabin separate from the school room since I was the only 1 in my class so crew members stopped by my classroom all day to wish me happy birthday. Then that night Kelly and Keri had planned me a big party. First we went to McDonalds (which sounds crazy, but when you are in Guatemala for months, this is the best!) and then we came back to the ship and played tons of games and had a dance party. Poor Kelly broke her toe playing crab soccer. Philip was moving off the ship the day after my birthday so after the party was over, we found a quiet spot and talked til 4am.

We played tons of the games living on the ship to keep entertained. I became an undefeated champion of Rummy. We would have competitions and I was unbeatable. My secret- I took big risks.

I also wanted to be a hippie at this point. I imagined I would grow up, marry super young and my spouse and I would live on love and little else traveling constantly. That spring we spent a lot of time on the west coast and it was the perfect setting for this life I thought I was destined to live. Jill and Dan were with us on the west coast and we had so much fun. Dan had an obsession with the little orange antenna balls that 76 gas stations handed out. I remember one night a big group of us sitting in the 15 passenger van parked outside the gas station and taking turns going in and asking for them.

At the beginning of the summer we moved off the ship. Martha was getting married that summer so Mom had gone to TX the month before us. We left the ship in Portland and I still remember pulling away Keri and Jason standing on the dock as we drove away and crying. It was so sad, but I wanted the opportunity to go to a normal high school for a few years. Jill, Dan, Dad and I rode tripped back to TX with all our stuff. Jill and I had a grand time talking, laughing and singing the whole way from Portland to TX. We thought this was the best road trip ever, but after a few days of this, Pappy had had enough and yelled that he wanted silence the rest of the way. I guess a man can only take so much. : )

That fall I started my junior year at Van High School. It helped that I already knew a lot of people in Van and I joined the church & Mercy Ships youth groups and met many more people very quickly. That fall was also really fun because Dan was at Letourno University and was able to come home a lot of weekends and Graydon had moved to the YWAM base in Lindale and would come hang out with us. I remember one particular afternoon when Dan had brought a friend home from college and Graydon met us at the Mercy Ships base and the 4 of us ran around exploring in the woods of the base in the drizzly rain all afternoon and had so much fun. I always loved hanging out with my brother and his friends and Graydon was my fav because he was so funny and he was so sweet and always looked out for me. That afternoon he made me wear his sweatshirt because it was so cold and rainy.

Not everyone gets to see the sides of Pappy that we get to see. That fall my friends and I were very into Ska music and we would “skank” our hearts out. Well Ska Mania was coming to Dallas with 3 of our favorite bands, the Supertones, 5 Iron Frenzy & I can’t remember the 3rd, but we wanted to go so badly, but our ride fell through and I was so sad. Without me asking, Pappy borrowed the Mercy Ships 15 passenger van and drove all my friends and I to the concert. What a peach! We had such a fun night!

Fabulous 15

Amy was 1 day younger than me so we always celebrated our birthdays together on my birthday. On my 15th birthday we sailed into Pensacola, FL, and all of our friends went out for our birthday dinner at Blimpies. Keith Brinkman pretended that 1 of those window Christmas candles was our birthday candle and burnt his hand when we "blew it out" and he covered it with his hand.

15 was SUCH a fun age. Although people had always still been friends with me on the ship no matter my age, by 15, I was close enough to the crew's age that I was seen as an equal. We had night watchmen who would guard the gangway 24 hours a day to make sure noone came onboard who wasn't supposed to. There was 1 nightwatchman who moved onboard who won my affections over and I started staying up til 2AM talking with him everynight that he had the late watch. I am not sure how I got up the next morning for school, but I was in love. When we got to Cozemel, Mexico, he asked me on my first date and I was shocked that my parents agreed to it because he was 23 and I was 15, but he was such a nice guy AND my parents knew he was moving off the ship soon. They were pretty smart. I was heartbroken when he moved off and cried for weeks. We went to Hard Rock Cafe and out for ice cream and then a sweet long walk along the water under the stars.

As I mentioned in the last post, Miss Kelly took us on lots of excursions. 1 was to a little island in Guatemala that was only excessable by boat. For some reason we went into a little store and she told us that we could each pick out something for her to buy us. We were looking around and Annie was looking at the frames when all of a sudden she yells out, "That's me!" We thought she meant that it looked like something she would like, but we looked and it was actually a pic of her in the frame. When she was little a chain store took pics of her and her little sister as models and this pic had somehow made it's way into a frame in a remote island of Guatemala and Annie had found it. One of the many crazy stories in life!

One week a group of the crew went into a remote village to work with a school and church in a village. There was a scorpian that lived in the shower. We slept on the floor under misketo nets and there was a chicken that lived in a box with us that eventually Lisa killed it and plucked it front of us and was made into stew. I could not eat it after living in the same room as it.

At 15, Amy and I LOVED the band DC Talk and their latest album "Jesus Freak." We arrived in Jacksonville, FL and realized that they were doing a free concert within walking distance of the ship. We were estatic, waited all day there, worked our way to the front & had the time of our lives! Also, we were contacted that year by probably the biggest Christian teen girls magazine at the time that they were intested in our lives and wanted to send a reporter out to spend a few days interviewing us and taking pics for Brio Magazine. When we sailed back into Jacksonville, FL, Andy was there and we spent the next few days being celebrities.

The summer when I was 15, Amy and Dan both moved off the ship. My parents were always very cautious about our needs and how choosing the life of missionaries affected their children. My dad asked me if I wanted to move off too then, but I decided I wanted to stay on the ship an extra year. That summer though I did meet Rick, Brenda, and Jordan Lewis. Rick and Brenda were leading a youth trip called X-treme Summer to Mexico. I knew alot of the leaders because they had been on a mobile team to the ship the year before so i decided I wanted to attend. We spent a week in TX and then drove down to Mexico for a week. I loved being around so many other people my age and getting to know Brenda, Jesse Carter, Mooky, Pete & Josanna, and Jessica Velnosky better. Funny how so many of them still have a presence in my life.

When I got back from X-treme Summer, a new DTS had started onboard. My mom told me that one of the boys Josh on it had been asking about me because his cousin had been one of my good friends on Teen Missions the summer before. Josh and I started hanging out all the time and then one day he started acting really weird and that day wouldn't talk to me, but he and Miss Kelly sat out on the dock for hours talking. I was so mad at them for excluding me (even though I found out later it was because he had been asking her for advice on what to do about his crush on me), but later that night he asked if he could talk to me and told me of his feelings and wanted to talk to my parents to ask if we could date. Kelly was in love with our friend Andy and the next day she and I walked down to the Landing in Jacksonville to giggle about boys. Unfortunately Josh fell in love alot faster than me and was ready to marry me, but I was 15 and wanted to see the world before settling down. That fall there were so many fun young people onboard. We docked in Guatemala next to another ship called the Logos 2. They were way stricker than our ship, but they had lots of dances. On Thanksgiving they invited our ship to a dance on their ship. There was a boy named Phillip onboard our ship who I really liked and I suspected he liked me, but my mom didn't really like him and he was scared of my dad so he never asked me out. And there were a bunch of scandenavian beauties onboard who liked Phillip as well. That night we headed over to the dance and Phillip kept making me promise I would save a dance for him. The girls kept asking him to dance and I was tired of watching it so I walked out and was headed back over to see if Pappy would like to watch a movie since mom was out of town. It was dark and there were tons of stars in the sky that night and all of a sudden I hear Philip yelling my name from up on the ship, "Erin come back and dance the last dance with me." My memory of that night was so dramatic I swear it had a soundtrack playing on the dock that night. : )

That year I traveled to:Pensacola, FL; New Brunswick, Canada; Puerto Cabezas, Nicaragua; Santo Tomas, Guatemala; Cozumel, Mexico; Jacksonville, FL; Richmond, VA; Chambersburg, PA; Montreal, Quebec; Grand Haven, MI; Chicago, IL; Duluth, MN; Cleveland, OH; Buffalo, NY; Jacksonville, FL; Panama; Puerto Quetzal, Guatemala; Lindale, TX; Monterray, Mexico.

14 and comfortably roaming the world

14 was a year of constant Alanis Morsette and Cranberries, and my favorite outfits were worn covered with a “flannel”. 14 was my first birthday when we were sailing the whole day. We arrived in Nicaragua and the dock was literally falling apart. A kid actually fell through it into the shark infested water while we were arriving. There was a section of the dock that you had to cross on 2 by 4s over the shark infested water. We were only there for about a week and I only left the ship when I actually had to.

I LOVED living on the ship, but there was crazy emotional stuff that we dealt with traveling as much as we did. One of those things was culture shock especially going from the States to impoverished countries. Let me just say that we never snuck into a port quietly. No. We are talking about a big ship full of foreigners providing free services pulling in and so we ALWAYS drew big crowds and there were always people on the dock next to the ship trying to see in. There was a dining room on the ship that everyone ate their meals in. What I remember distinctly on that arrival to Nicaragua was one of the first meals when the tide had made it so the people on dock could look right into the dining room. I went and got my plate of food and sat down at a table. And I turn and there were all these super skinny kids looking in the window at my plate of food. I full weight of that feeling of how much I am blessed with and take for granted when so many in the world are starving hit me yet again and I ran away crying with no appetite.

After a week, we headed back to the Dominican Republic. I heard that there was a team from PA coming, but Selena & Crissy hadn’t thought that they were going to be able to come. Another thing about living on the ship was that we only got mail occasionally- usually at least a month after it was sent. Well that year, Selena and Crissy sent me a birthday/Christmas box that did not arrive on time, but then I got the great news that Selena had been able to convince her dad to let them come and they were bringing 2 people who were on our WV trip, Rob and Jenny! Their box they had sent a month before arrived when they were onboard. My family had been planning to spend a week up in the mountains, but since it was the same week that Selena & Crissy were onboard they let me stay on the ship. We had SO much fun that week going to the beach, climbing waterfalls, dressing in love skirts and having midnight rendezvous on the dock and talking, talking, talking. When it came time for them to leave, we were alittle OUT OF CONTROL! We bawled and bawled.

In April the ship went into dry dock which meant everyone had to move off. Since the DTS was too large to go to host homes, they had to go live on the base in Lindale and since Mams worked with them, we went along. I LOVED this DTS and had become fun friends with so many of them. On the base we met James, Jon Hauserman, and a Gecamo who was a really hot latino that the ladies all loved. That month was SO much fun hanging out with all of them and then hanging out on the the pool house roof with James and Gecamo til the wee hours and then sneaking up the ladies dorm super squeeky stairs at 3AM every morning.

Martha and Dan had both spent a summer with Teen Missions International previously and when I was 14, I was old enough to take one of their trips. I sat down with my dad and told him I wanted to go and so we worked out a plan. TMI is SUPER strick and you have to wear pants and construction boots all summer. We had such a hard time finding boots that fit the requirements that were a small enough size for me. There is a training for all the teams called Boot Camp where you live in tents, wake up and run an obsticale course everymorning, and then train during the days for the things you will be doing. A few of the teens did “Early Bootcamp” that ran at the same time as the little kid programs and left earlier in the summer. Selena also went that summer and although we were on different teams, it was fun to get to see her. I took my first solo flight and when I arrived in FL, the guy who came to pick us all up from the airport was a guy named Caleb Massey who had come for an evening to visit the ship the year before and hung out with my friends so it was fun that I already knew him. I LOVED bootcamp even though it was SO hard and most people hated it. Then we flew to Ecuador where were built the 2nd story onto the building we were staying in. I have no clue what the building was used for, I don’t remember talking to any of the locals the whole time and we all got super sick. But I still had the time of my life. Being away from home for 2 months really made me grow up and think for myself. We had no running water so we hauled freezing water in buckets to wash our hair occastionally though it would give us a headache because it was so cold, we peed in squata potties, and I remember when we would finally go into a city and wash our hands, they would literally change color when all the dirt came off them. I didn't have a mirror and I remember seeing my reflextion in 1 after about a month of not looking in 1 and thinking, "Oh yes, I had forgotten what I looked like." I loved our team though and the basic way of life and the Andes Mountains are SO beautiful. I got in lots of trouble that summer because I talk constantly, had a relationship with a boy (one of the biggest no nos of the organization) and I would always giggle during quiet times. I loved that summer with all my heart though and only got homesick one night when I was really sick. On the way back to FL, we visited the Ecuator then flew to Panama for a few days where we slept in beds and took real showers for the first time in 2 months. We had a week of “debriefing” in FL which I pretty much cried the entire week because I was so sad to leave my “TMI Family.” When I flew back to the ship, it was in New Orleans and my parents came to pick me up. On the ride home I was telling my mom about how 1 of the girls was going to vacation right after the trip and how I thought it was so sad she wasn’t going home, but to somewhere she had never been before and my mom was like, “You have never been to New Orleans before, how is that different?” But the truth was that the ship was my home and it didn’t matter where we were docked, it would always be going home to me.

When I got back to the ship, Keri Coombs had moved back onboard and her new roommate was also going to be my new teacher- Miss Kelly. Those 2 acted like there was not a 14 year age difference between us and that year was amazing! Luke & Joe had moved off the ship, so our class was just Amy, Annie, and I and Kelly let us decorate our classroom ourselves, and she was an amazing teacher taking us off the ship on all kinds of real life adventures to educate us. Then in the evenings the whole group of us would play sports on the dock, play sardines on the ship (the most popular spot to hide was the walk in fridges), swimming or playing sand volleyball at the local naval base, etc. Since everyone lived in the same place, you didn’t have to call to arrange to meet, you just all hung out every night.

Traveled to: Nicaragua; Dominican Republic; Bahamas; Port Canaveral, FL; Norfolk, VA; Wilmington, NC; Puerto Cabezas, Nicaragua; Santo Tomas, Guatemala; Corpus Christi, TX, Lindale, TX; Merrit Island, FL; Riobumba, Ecuador; Panama; Orlando, FL; New Orleans, LA; Tampa, FL; St. Petersburg, FL.

13- The teenage years begin!

From day one on the ship, there was a guy named Jeff Porter who adopted me as his little sister and I LOVED spending time with him! He had gone home to visit family and watched “All Dogs go to Heaven” and came back to the ship ranting about how this was the story of our friendship and from there on out he was “Charlie” and I was “Squeeker”. One of my most vivid memories with Jeff was when we went to the movie theatre to watch Star Trek Generations (more on that later) and then we had friends in the other theater watching Forest Gump so we asked the workers if we could just go in and watch that too and we made it a double feature. Then the summer when I was 13, our family had gone to TX and I still remember when we pulled up to where the ship was docked Jeff running towards our car and pulling me out in excitement. He had a big secret that he was going to propose. While Shelia got ready for their date, he nervously sat in my cabin in front of my fan trying to control his nervous sweating. I was so happy except that it meant that he moved off the ship later that year when they got married.

So I loved Star Trek The Next Generation at 13 for 3 simple reasons. #1. There were not many options of things to watch onboard and for some reason the ship had ended up every episode available. #2. I loved that they were also a ship which traveled around and related to the relationships that developed because of living in community. #3. Because it is awesome. : ) My mom laughed because one day she came into the crew lounge (a common area with couches and a tv) and the ship’s Captain, the Chief Engineer, Ship Director and 13 year old me were all watching Star Trek together. In my defense, I have never been a fan of the other Star Trek series, but there is still a soft spot in my heart for Star Trek The Next Generation and when I hear, “Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the star ship Enterprise. It’s continuing mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before” I admit that I get super excited!

That school year, we had a teacher named Miss Donna who loved teaching us performances. We had several songs that we would perform for crew events and any special events where we had guests onboard. Then in the spring she directed us in Godspell. I LOVED all of our performances, but Godspell was amazing. She actually did such an incredible job with what she had to work with. Then she found us a theater close to where the ship was that we got to see an actual performance of Godspell.

Amy moved back onto the ship that spring. We were such opposites were such a good balance to each other. We could have crazy fights, but then if anyone else messed with either of us (or we got bored of fighting), we were back to being thick as thieves. We found so many crazy adventures to have together. And let me tell you, we were extremely boy crazy. I was actually kissed by a boy for the first time (besides little kid kisses) that year at Camp Faithful and I remember waking up the next morning and still being able to feel where his lips had touched mine. I have always been a big romantic. : ) I also remember that there was a DTS event that I had wanted to go to, but wasn’t allowed and so one of the guys had come home from it and brought me a rose because he knew I was sad. It was not a romantic gesture, but I had a big crush on him and I remember waking up with the rose by my bed.

That summer we went to Chicago for the first time and were docked right under the Michigan Ave bridge at the Magnificent Mile. I am not sure why I was so scared of Chicago, but the first night when my family went out to explore, I wouldn’t tell them that I was too afraid that I would be murdered, but I wouldn’t go with them. They must have eventually realized I was scared so my dad came to talk to me about it and finally got it out of me and told me that most murders happen from someone you knew and did I know anyone in Chicago that wanted to kill me? After I was brave enough to leave the ship, it became one of my favorite cities. Amy and I met a really fun family that had us come spend the night at their house and my mom let me and a friend go shop by ourselves on the Magnificent Mile by ourselves for the first time.

While 13, we were in Houston (then the ship went to Haiti, but our family went to Lindale so we could spend Christmas with Jill & Martha), Jacksonville, FL; Montreal, Quebec; Grand Haven, MI; Chicago, IL; then my family road tripped to TX for Martha’s graduation and then back up to Canada to spend time with family, NH to visit my grandparents, and then down to CT where I got to go to Camp Faithful again), Cleveland, Ohio (then I went to Chamberburg, PA and baclwoods, WV); Toronto, Ontario; Morehead City, NC; Jacksonville, FL; and Tampa, FL.

While we were in Cleveland, Selena and Crissy came to visit for a few days, and then Selena came up with a plan to bring me back to Chambersburg with them. This was the first time that I realized that Selena could pretty much talk anyone into anything she wanted. We drove to PA listening to Flemming and John the whole time and met the rest of the Strite family. We even went over to Grandma and Pappy’s house. Then I went on her youth trip to work with Habitat for Humanity in WV with her. I loved Chambersburg and the people I met here. Then when we were in FL later that year, her family was on vacation and stopped by the ship where Dan & I went to watch the rocket launch at Cape Canaveral with them and then we went to Ron Jon Surf Shop and played mini golf. Selena has a brother Wes who was a year younger than me who quickly joined our posse.

Ships Ahoy at 12

My 12 year old pics seem to be temparily MIA. Probably for the best as I did get a crazy perm that year. Let your mind conjure up that beautiful image...

For my 12th birthday, I did something I had never done before. We always knew that my mom hid our presents in her room. For the first time I peeked and it made opening the presents and having to pretend to be surprised such a let down that I never did that again. I had a new found obsession with the Dallas Cowboys and my mom had gotten me some pretty nice loot. That Spring I even somehow convinced my extremely un-sporty family to watch the Super Bowl with me and the Cowboys won.

So 12 rolled around and after Christmas we again made the road trip down to the TX. We rented a house in Van, TX where most of the Mercy Ships staff sent their kids to school. 6th grade in Van was in the middle school and this was a whole new world for me. I had to get used to changing classes, lockers, locker rooms, and the snobby girls of middle school. My first day of school in Van, we spent a good hour outside because of a bomb threat. Boys here were different. They made sexual comments and I was mobbed on my first day to see who I was going to “Go with.”

That summer we drove to Tampa, FL, and moved onto the newest ship, the M/V Caribbean Mercy. We were each allowed to bring what fit into 2 boxes. My stuff of course was overflowing and I had to sit on it all the way to Tampa because I couldn’t bear to part with my treasures.

I loved meeting the 100 other crew members who had just moved on too. Some of them we had known from the Good Sam. There was never a lack of people to talk with. Then it happened. We started sailing. And I thought I was going to die. I get motion sick on swings so when all of a sudden the whole ship is rocking and rolling, let’s just say it was rough for me.

On that sail we were passing Cuba when one of the watchmen spotted a little fishing boat about a mile off the coast. There appeared to be several people in the boat and they were frantically waving to us. We circled them until we got the go ahead from the coast guard to let them come onboard. Just in time as shortly after a big wave hit their boat and it sunk. They were trying to escape Cuba to come to America, but they were out of food and water only a mile from the coast and 1 of the ladies was almost dead from heat stroke. We kept them onboard overnight until the Coast Guard could come and pick them up. We were all stunned to see what desperation could lead people to do. Later I heard about someone who made it from Cuba to the Florida coast in an inner tube. Shocking that they survived!

And off we went back to the Dominican Republic. This experience was MUCH better than the 1st! I started helping in teach the pre-school onboard and loved that! In the afternoons I would swim in the pool that was set up on the dock, and go out into the villages at night with the teams. The teams built a church, dug wells, and did free medical and dental procedures. One thing about living on the ship those first years though was that it was not air conditioned, it was black & made of metal, and we were in a tropical climate. IT WAS HOT!!! Amy and I started sleeping out on deck everynight under the stars which we continued doing for the next 4 years. Be best was sleeping under the stars when we were sailing and looking up at the mast amongst the endless starry sky only you had to make sure I held tight to my foam mattress I slept on so it wouldn’t fly away and when I would wake up in the morning I would always be salty and wet. I spent the majority of nights between the ages of 12-16 sleeping outside under the stars which is something I really miss!

There were teams that came and volunteered short term that summer. One came from California with a bunch of teenagers that Amy and I had tons of fun with and then a team came from Chambersburg, PA led by a man named Gene Strite. I remember sitting out on the deck talking to him about his family. His oldest daughter Selena and her best friend Crissy were on the team too. They were 2 years older than me and thought my brother was cute and I thought they were so beautiful and cool, but one day we were all sitting around giggling about this weird doll and we decided to become pen pals.

The hardest part of living on the ship was saying goodbye to the new friends that you made. I always cried.

We sailed back to Jacksonville, FL, and had our first Discipleship Training School come onboard. I LOVED when the new DTS students came onboard! A family moved on with 2 boys just slightly younger than me and we started school in the little classroom they had set up onboard which was like a 1 room school with all the ages together.

While we were in FL, someone paid to take all of the “ships kids” to Disney World. I LOVED it! Luke was terrified of roller coasters, but we convinced him to come on Splash Mountain with us. He was having major anxiety all the way through the line and then we started through the ride. He saw an exit sign (for the workers) and all of a sudden jumped out of the cart. I still remember seeing him standing there with the charactors in the sceen and remember the look Miss Jana gave him.:)