Breakthrough at 27!

On my 27th birthday my house was finally fixed, but it had all caused me to feel trapped in Chambersburg. I spent New Years in Charlotte with Sherah and got to spend time with a friend from my DTS who was living down there. I drove down with Valerie and there was something wrong with the horn on her car. If you turned the steering wheel to the left it honked. Loudly. If you did a long turn, it sounded like you were laying on the horn. If you tried to break it up into short turns, it went honk, honk, honk, honk. Whenever we went into gas stations, or stopped to eat, we made a grand enterance with our honking and everyone was looking and annoyed and we would fall out of the car laughing. Sherah's neighborhood was classy and already annoyed all the time at her and her roommates because of noise and the amount of people coming in and out. Well, we didn't arrive until around midnight and honked the whole way through the neighborhood. It wasn't until the next day that Val thought about cutting the wire on the horn to make it stop.

In March, Lane invited me to come spend a weekend together in NYC again and I added on a trip to New Haven as well. It was wonderful to spend time with dear friends who had known me, who believed in me, who could remind me how far I had come and that I was heading in the right direction. A few weeks after that, Brett and I took a road trip down to Wesley's wedding in Charlotte. We talked the entire way and by that I mean that Brett talked the first hour and I talked the next 5, but it was a blast. We had so much fun down there hanging out with friends and I actually did karaoke for the first time to Enrique of course. Kris joined us for he drive home. On the way down we had stopped at a Subway for lunch and had the scariest workers who Brett said appeared to have just gotten out of jail and were stingy with the toppings. Brett complained the whole time about this Subway. On the way home we decided we were hungry and not paying attention, we saw a sign for an exit with a Subway and pulled off and ended up at the exact same Subway. : )

That summer I decided that I wanted to start attending a series of leadership seminars by the organization Klemmer and Associates. I looked online for where their next basic level one would be held and it was in New Haven which was perfect because I already knew my way around and could stay with at Ricci & Jeremy's. It started on Friday and ended on Sunday and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I started realizing how much of lost of me. Let me just say that I love Chambersburg and have lots of fabulous friends here who love me for who I am, but I am certainly not the "normal Chambersburg woman" and I had a hard time my first few years because people felt like they should inform me where I was falling short. I don't cook, I am not married, I am loud and boisterious. I don't dress conservitively. I make rash choices and I don't really hide much. Without realizing it, I had started taking a back seat in life so as not to have to hear people's opinions. On Saturday when we were informed that we would have lunch free and then I realized that everyone had seperately come up and asked me if I wanted to have lunch with them and they were all ages, there as a part of me that finally came back alive and I remembered, "Hey I am fun and people like to be around me!" I also realized that I hadn't traveled internationally for years and that was such a huge part of what makes me feel alive. I decided that I was going to plan an international trip. A few months before, a blog I had followed of a guy named Bobby Earle who was a photographer and lover of travel had announced a trip to Thailand and Cambodia for photographers. Although I was one, I still wanted to go because the places they traveled looked SO amazing and he & his wife seemed to travel in a similar way that I do. I figured that all 12 spots would be full, but within a week of making the commitment to myself that I would travel internationally, Bobby posted that he had 4 more spots left. I wrote explaining that I wasn't a photographer, but why I wanted to go and he said, "Come along!" I sent in my deposit, bought a nice camera and then... I FROZE! I couldn't talk about it when anyone would ask me about it. The economy was bad and I always heard people I knew were making WAY more than me saying that they couldn't afford things way less frivolous than a dream trip, but there was no backing out now. That time really showed me that there are always going to be a million reasons NOT to do something, but hey, why not do it anyways???

Which is how I ended up in a car at the butt crack of dawn with Bonnie on the way to NYC for a Stilleto Run to raise awareness for Stop Child Trafficing Now in the pouring rain the day before I was leaving for San Francisco. And it was amazing!

That October I also traveled to San Francisco to do the next step in the Klemmer Leadership Training programs. Advanced leadership was probably the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but absolutely has changed the way I lived. My eyes were opened to how much I had been living with a victim mentality and how it felt safe, but was robbing my life of possibilities. I had moved to PA and wanted to prove that I could live a "normal life" that I hadn't lived in my early years and I had succeeded. The problem was that I was not designed for the normal life. I a dreamer. I am a couragious, confident, competent and perserving woman and I have a huge destiny ahead of me that requires my individuality, not some clone of what others believe I should be.

A funny thing happened when I returned home with my new found confidence. Not only did the comments and teasing that I received from others not affect me as much, but they really decreased. Words still hurt, but when others know that their words can't make you feel as belittled and small as they had intended, they tend to not say them as much.

It was funny when I was at last able to talk about my trip and Bobby had sent us a schedule of what we would be doing each day. I of course paid NO attention to it, but Crissyand Jill went through and did research for me on the locations I would be in.

26!

On my 26th birthday it snowed. I had gone over to the Strites after work and Sherah and I layed in bed chatting as the snow fell and Karen brought us up tea. Then she drove us to have sushi for dinner and then we went to the movies to watch "Enchanted." For those of you who haven't seen it, it is about these cartoon characters who become real people who find themselves in Manhattan and burst into song about love and feelings and I loved it because I believe life should have been a musical, but I don't think Karen and Sherah were too impressed, but graciously sat through it with me.

In February, my grandfather died. I drove up to New Hampshire for the funeral stopping in Newark to pick Martha up on my way. I was so sad to lose for him to die, but I loved getting to spend several days surrounded by Martha, my parents, and Dan & Nova. And I loved Portsmouth were we were stayng in Dan & Nova's apartment. It was very hard to come back to Chambersburg where it was the middle of winter and I wasn't surrounded by family. I discovered The Office during that time and bearly left my house if I wasn't working and watched every episode. In an attempt to cheer me up, Lane invited me to join him in NYC for a long weekend. I fell in love with NYC and discovered that Lane and I actually traveled really well. Lane loved being the tour guide and figuring out directions, fun places to go, but he wanted someone to show around. I loved not having to figure anything out and just following around and being awed by the sights and good company.

Sherah stopped working at the church that year, but we were still very busy with big rennovation project on the church and gearing up for the 2nd 7/20 Gathering. That summer I treated myself to a pool pass and would go everyday after work and fall asleep at the pool because I was so exhausted by the end of the work day. I decided that I wanted to take a vacation after the 7/20 that year and so Lane suggested that we explore Washington DC together that week. We stayed in Georgetown and one morning we were walking passed this little bakery called Georgetown Cupcakes that had a long line outside and we were super intrigued why people would be lining up for this place. We didn't want to wait in line because it was hot, but then when in the coming months we heard about Georgetown Cupcakes on Oprah and on the Today Show we realized we should have gone inside.

While we were in DC, Lane came up with a great idea to fly me out to MO where he was living and surprise Dave and Rachel with my visit. A few weeks later flew in (after have a creeper stroke my leg on the airplane and then try to get me to leave the airport with him. He ran when I ran up and hugged Lane who was waiting for me at the bagguge claim). I met a bunch of his friends that night, we went shopping the next day and then Lane had arranged to meet Dave & Rach for dinner and I jumped out of the car. It was so fun! We all spent the next few days together and when I had to say good bye to Rach, I cried and cried which was terrible because I was at a bbq where there were still a bunch of Lane's friends with us, but I couldn't stop crying.

I had decided to apply at a school in Charlotte so a few weeks after that I drove down to CLT with Sheila and got to stay with Sherah and all their roommies. After touring the school, we went camping and slept under the stars at our camp site for Sarah's birthday. It was really fun except for when I almost walked into a spider web with a HUGE spider in it and I screamed. I also borrow Sherah's lantern to go use the the bathroom and dropped it in the toilet. I never told her about that.... opppssss....

I got accepted for the school starting in Oct so I decided to put my house on the market. The day before I called the realitor, I really wanted to work out in my front yard, but I felt bad because I knew that Reachout (a ministry our church used to have in the community) was that night and I should attend since I was the manager. I figured I would just go for alittle while, but when I arrived, I was needed for along time and then they needed someone to drive the big truck down to Marion for diesel and so I decided to have a good attitude and stayed as long as I was needed. When I was heading home I saw that the streets near my house were blocked off and then I could see that that it looked like they were police and some kind of commotion in front of MY house. I managed to get down back roads, parked my car and started RUNNING toward my house. My neighbor intercepted me and said, "Erin, don't panic, it's not as bad as it looks." An SUV had totalled my neighboors car, accelerated and driven up the 4 concrete steps before taking out the post of my front porch and flipping over into my front yard. If I had been working out there as I had oringinaly planned, I would have been crushed. It was a miracle that nobody had been seriously injured, but it meant that I had to decline the offer of the school and not put my house on the market. It took months to get all the details worked out and the people to finish the work on the house.

25- AKA a Quarter of a Century

Before I go into the details of 25, let me just share some stories of when I lived with Kris. Kris is actually a decent cook. I am not. That winter we went over to Crissy's house and she made a pomegranate cheesecake that was amazing. So then I decided I would make one, but I read the receipe wrong and literally put 10 times the amount of gelatin in that I was supposed. The boys told me it looked like mashed potatoes and I had to agree. Then I decide I would make fudge and found this receipe that was called "No Fail Fudge." Perfect for me right? Wrong. I sat patiently stirring the fudge wondering why this dark brown streaks were coming to the top, but just figured it was burning a bit. Then I pulled the plastic spoon out and realized about an inch of the spoon had melted into the fudge. Kris still ate it and just spat the plastic out.

OK so my 25th birthday came and was a blast and then 2 days later was Kris's 25th birthday so we celebrated it with Sherah, Wes, Kris, and I at our house and it was a great night, but we won't go into any details to keep everyone's reputation safe. : )

For New Years I went up to Rochester to spend time with Ryan and his family. I had met his mom, brother and sister before briefly, but he wanted me to get to know them better under our new context. It was a fun New Years, but hard as Ryan was in a really dark place in his life and finally decided that he wanted to protect me from it all and protect himself from the hurt of another relationship. It was hard because always before I was the one who ended the relationships so this time when I had no control over the outcome and I was not only losing the person I cared about deeply, but also one of my best friends. I was so glad that Kris lived just downstairs and Sherah and I were working together at that time because I needed to be surrounded by people I loved and who loved me to get through that. When I got home, I wasn't sleeping well because of all of it and I remember Crissy coming over to see me one day. Her & Kris and I were sitting in the living room talking and I started a sentence and then fell asleep in the middle over it for a few seconds, and then woke up and finished the sentence. I wish I had a camera of the 2 of their confused faces when I woke up and they asked, "Did you just fall asleep?"

The next few weeks I decided that I was going to go on some dates to start moving on. I went on some dates with my UPS man who had been interested in me for awhile and then I was set up on a blind date with "Joe." I had talked with him on the phone beforehand and he had told me that people refer to him as Johnny Cash. I thought that was cool- I am a Cash fan. I also knew that Sherah had told him that he should take me out to Italian food instead of a steakhouse. Well he comes to pick me up and has a creepy mustache, black high topped sneakers and metallica floor mat and stickers in his car, but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. He took me on a scenic walk about the Steakhouse he took me too (remeber Sherah had told him not to bring me to a steakhouse) past dumpsters, informed me I was an expensive date even though I picked the cheapest meal & offered to pay, bragged to about how much money he made and how he had given the waiter a huge tip. He suggested we go see a movie and said I could pick what we saw, but when I made a suggestion, he said, "Actually, I think we should go see James Bond. I have already watched it 3 times and it was really good." At this point I should have just asked him to take me home, but he started appologizing about how lame of a date he was, etc so I felt bad, but in my head I was baffled and really it felt like an out of body experience like I was watching a bad reality show. At the end of the 7 HOUR date, he drove me home blaring heavy metal the whole way and after he informed me, "I guess I should do the gentlemanly thing and walk you to your door", he asked me if I would like to go out again sometime. No thanks, but thanks for the great story that we have gotten lots of giggles about. I swore off blind dates after that one.

That summer Kris moved down to Honduras because he had fallen in love and I got the cutest, fluffiest kitten you have ever seen and after being told she was a girl, I name her Princess Sasha and bought her pink EVERYTHING. When I took her for an appointment a few months later, the doctor said, "This cat has balls" and the Princess got dropped from HIS name.

That year we had been doing alot to connect and bond the pastors in our area. The culmination of our efforts was the 7/20 Gathering which was a 12 hour prayer and praise event at the local high school stadium. I was in charge of the administration and we invited every church and business in the area to it. It was an insanely huge project and we had a college intern at the church that summer to help us with the project and somehow we pulled it off and had about 4000 people attend. It really showed me that I had way more ability then I ever realized. The week after the event Sherah and Vish went on family vacation and I realized suffered from a huge lack of purpose. I had spent months in a crazy rush working long hours, eatting, sleeping & breathing this project and it was over in one day. Ben the intern would read to me outloud that week to cheer me up and come up with fun adventures for us.

That summer I drove up to New Hampshire and got to see my grandparents one more time living in their house that they had lived in all my life. Dan and Nova were visiting New Hampshire too and we stayed with some of their friends. Dan and I started talking about the ship years after everyone else had fallen asleep and we laughed for hours about funny old memories.

In October I had to get my wisdom teeth removed. Bri drove me to my appointment and loved laughing when I came to after the surgery and I couldn't stop laughing. I actually remember the nurse trying to talk to me and being annoyed that I wasn't listening because I was so busy laughing, but I couldn't help it. I spent the afternoon at the Bumbaughs and Micah loved it because I was still on heavy meds and sat and listened to him talk about hunting forever as I had my bag of frozen peas on my face. Lane came into town and picked me up from there to take me home and take care of me that night. Princess Sasha LOVED Lane!

24

24 was my first birthday in my new house. A few weeks before, Nate and I had gone on a date and had to run to a store for something and had seen this tall kitchen table that we fell in love with. We sat at it and talked for a few hours til the store closed and they kicked us out. Well he surprised me and bought the table for me for my birthday. We celebrated at the Bumbaughs. A few weeks later, I knew what I needed to do. Again I had fallen in love with someone who I knew was not a good match for me. Nate was wonderful, but I knew that my sensitive spirit that I have battled to keep throughout life would be killed in the process of a life together so I ended it. Melanie came home that Christmas and it was a much needed distraction from the saddness in my heart. I told Nate when we broke up that one of the saddest things to me was going to be losing his friends and he said he still wanted me to be friends with them. So I did and they have been the best thing to ever come out of one of my dating relationships. Actually Michelle and I coined ourselves the "sneaky snakes" because while Nate and I were dating, and then still afterwards we would have all kinds of secret adventures. She was always WAY better at not telling on ourselves than I was. : )

That spring I spent alot of time with the Bumbaughs and also with Maria. She was planning her wedding and I was in the wedding and so we had lots of fun planning and watching reality tv and dreaming about our futures. Lane also decided to apply at dental schools on the East Coast to be close to me and then when he didn't get into them (it is CRAZY competitive) he got a job and requested the east coast region. He came to visit several times during the search period and then when he would travel through for his job.

I meanwhile got a part time job at a coffee shop called Big Oak Cafe and loved it and the new friends I made especially Josh and Biz(zle). We had so much fun together.

That summer Kris Cole moved into the downstair apartment of my house. We had so much fun being roommates. We had always been good friends and it was nice having someone else in the house, especially someone who knew me so well. We both had so much going on that year that it was wonderful having a best friend living in your house to be a support. Also, we loved watching CSI together, but usually ended up hiding under blankets because it was just too scary. Also, having Kris move in meant that we had Wesley as an honorary housemate and they loved to tease me when we would all be sitting watching Myth Busters and I would pull out my knitting needles.

That Thanksgiving Ryan came to visit me. We hadn't seen each other in awhile and we spent the afternoon catching up and I had forgotten how much he made me laugh. He had moved to Rochester, NY, and was trying to get his life back on track. After he went home, he contacted me again and asked if he could come back to see me the next week for my birthday. Of course I was so excited to get to see him again and it was fun having Kris and Wesley get to meet him. The 2nd night he was there, after everyone else had gone to bed, finally the truth came out that he had liked me for years and I finally was able to admit to myself that I had always felt the same way about him, but had hidden it from the first day because the timing had been so off. What surprised me was how deeply I cared for him. Never in my life has a person so known me that they already knew what I was thinking, feeling, or how I would react before I even did. Never before had someone protected me so fiercely as he had.

A PA Girl at 23!

My 23rd birthday I was feeling alittle blue for some reason. Then I went over to Selena's and all of a sudden Vish and Alan showed up in the living room wearing tiaras and with cupcakes for me and the day instantly improved. It got even better when Crissy, Mel, and Wesley showed up.

There are some things that you get so well engrained into you and they come out in the funniest times. I am a VERY sound sleeper. I can sleep through pretty much anything. Well one night I woke up to Melanie in my room in the middle of the night yelling about fire and pulling open my curtains to show me the flames in one of the houses that shared our backyard. There were propane tanks exploding, emergecy vehicles racing down the road and I had been sleeping through it all. Well I went into safety drill mode after years of practicing for fires on the ship. I starting pulling on clothes and shoes and yelling to the girls to grab their purses and valuables. The wind had been out of control that day and the houses were close so we were very scared. We went into the back yard with the rest of the neighbors and watched as the firemen tried to contain the fire, but it was a complete loss. It did not pass to any other houses luckily though. Mel climbed back into bed with me and we watched the flames as they finally burned the rest of the way down.

I went to England again that year for Christmas and had so much fun, but got sick while I was there. Then when I flew home, Ryan came to visit and stay with me for New Years. He had had a rough fall because as I figured, his gf broke up with him the day I moved away, then he had lost me to PA and he didn't want to be living in TX amoung other things. That New Years Eve was freakishly warm and I enjoyed bringing him to meet alot of my PA friends and then we sat out on my porch the rest of the night in our t-shirts talking about life and love. I was so sad when he left because I missed my friend dearly. He decided to move to California shortly after that trip.

Melanie had gotten engaged shortly after I moved in and set her wedding date. One day that winter we got snowed in. I had my own room and April and Mel shared a room. I went over and climbed into bed with Mel. April was close with us, but wasn't as much of the touchy feely person that Mel and I were so we were alittle surpised when April came over and climbed into the bed too. We were talking and finally April goes, "When are you guys going to notice the diamond on my finger?" We freaked out because we didn't know April was so close to engagement! We spent the day playing in the snow and then Erik came over and we made them play games with us the rest of the evening. April and Erik set their wedding date which was the same weekend as Mel's. Which meant that I was going to be losing both of my roommates the same weekend. I didn't know what I was going to do about my living situation and so the Strites offered to let me move into their house until I figured out what I was going to do.

Shortly after moving in with the Strites, Bri had decided that she wanted me to meet her husband's cute and single best friend. The boys played on a church softball team and so I went with her and Michelle to the game to meet this boy. Well someone else had other plans. Michelle's husband's best friend was also cute and single and had seen pics of me and been hearing stories and he had heard I was going to the game and he made sure to come up to me right after the game and let me know who he was. We all went out for pizza afterwards and I started getting to know these guys a bit. Nate was outgoing and super funny where as the other boy was shy and quiet. I found out that they both had asked for my number and Bri asked me which I wanted her to give it to. I picked Nate, but I was headed down to TX for Rachel's wedding for a week and I forgot my phone in my ride's car so I didn't have my phone the whole week. Meanwhile Nate was home telling my friends that he loved the sparkle in my eyes and my friends were hooked.

I got to TX and stayed with Jess and her family the first few days, but Lane was in town and had a car and he had been calling and e-mailing me lots that year so we spent all our time together that week. He took me to my dress fitting and I came out in my dress and there was a sash on the dress. The seamstress was down at my hem pinning the dress as Lane watched and I went to ask her about what to do with the sash, but in my clutziness, I accidentally wacked her in the head with it. I probably would have been able to keep the giggles in, but Lane busted out laughing and I lost control of the laughter. The seamstress didn't have nearly the sense of humor about it as we did (for the record, she was not hurt in the process). TX is HOT in the summer. HOT HOT HOT. After the fitting, Lane and I had to get something to eat. Normally i am not high maintance and easy going, but when I get hot it's a whole other story. I said I wanted to eat at Sonic, but we got there and Lane had a black car and so I said I didn't want to eat there. I proceeded to do this about 3 more locations before I decided where I wanted to eat. Lane thought this sudden burst of indecisive high maintance was HILARIOUS and teased me about it for years later. I had so much fun seeing my old friends around the wedding especially my friend Jeremy who had turned into a grown man in the year I had been gone. I have anxiety when all attention is focused on me so I was SO nervous right before walking down the aisle, but Rachel had arranged it that the groomsmen walked down the aisle with us instead of meeting them at the alter and Lane was my groomsmen and gave me a pep talk right before I walked in that I knew almost everyone there. It was actually my favorite wedding I have been in because I knew everyone and Jeremy and I danced the reception away. The next day was July 4th. Early that morning Katie, Lane and I sat in the anchorage and I cried because I missed Rachel already. I was nervous about going home because I had a crazy 3 weeks when I got home getting ready to go to South Africa and also, my sister had asked me to be in the birthing room when she had her first son. Lane and I drove the last of the guests to Dallas after that, then drove around Van where I showed him everywhere I had memories. We were headed back to the base to pack up our stuff and then we were going to head into Tyler to meet up with Jessica and Jared and watch the fireworks. We got to the base and Lane answered his phone and started screaming. His brother-in-law who was like a brother to him had just drowned. I stood there in shock as Lane ran around throwing his stuff in his car and asking me how that could have happened. I just kept telling him that I didn't know, but that Lane was going to be ok. Lane left for AR and I sank down to the ground. A guy I had lived on the ship with drove by on his bike and asked if I were ok and I told him what happened and that I needed to call Rachel's parents, but didn't have a phone. He took me to his dorm and found their number for me and had to dial the phone for me because I was shaking too bad to dial. Ellie came to be with me as I packed and then drove me to watch the fireworks at Fatherheart and Jeremy just sat there holding my hand as I cried the whole evening. I borrowed her phone to call Lane throughout the evening because I was scared for him driving the whole way home by himself in his emotional state.

I flew home the next day. While I was gone Nate had called to ask me out. I was nervous to go because of all the craziness, but I knew it was either go out on a date or stay home and cry all evening. Rachel called me as I was getting ready for the date and she was crying and I started bawling again, but finally got myself composed. The date was actually also with Micah and Michelle & Bri and Ryan. Micah told the CHEESIEST jokes all evening and Nate complained to me that it was hard going on a date with his best friend because he stole all the jokes and I thought, "I wouldn't claim those jokes if I were you." : ) (I know think Micah is hilarious BTW) Nate and I started hanging out everyday after that, I met his family and he soon asked me to be his girlfriend. About a week later Vish took me along with him to look at an apartment that I thought he wanted to buy, but after the tour, he turned to me and asked if I liked it. I said yes and he said, "I think you should put an offer in for it." I did that day and got pre-approved for financing. I was also still supposed to leave soon for South Africa and Jill was over due to have Reid. I was so panicked that she wasn't going to go into labor soon enough. At 5 AM the day before I was supposed to leave, I got the call that she was in labor. I went and spent the day and evening with her and Micah in the hospital and Reid didn't seem to want to enter the world. Finally in the wee hours of the morning he came out, I kissed him, and headed back home in enough time to finish packing, kiss Nate goodbye and head to the airport. I slept the entire way to South Africa. The scariest thing about watching Jill in labor was that she didn't talk. I was so relieved when Reid was finally born and she started talking right away. I also was freaking out as the doctors flopped Reid around. He was such a cutie though!

Nate and I spent that fall at his softball games, ripping down wall paper, getting my house ready for my move and spending time with Micah & Michelle. I LOVED getting to know the Bumbaughs! I moved in a few days before my birthday and I had to go to work at my part time job that evening. Selena stayed and unpacked a ton of my stuff for me. The next evening I was hanging out with Nate wearing my pajamas and he said to me, "Maybe you should get dressed in real clothes." I thought it was kinda weird, but I went up and changed. Then the doorbell rang and it was Michelle and Bri. I thought it was nice that they had stopped by and then the doorbell rang again and it was Selena and Crissy. How nice that my friends all wanted to stop by to see me... at the same time... This happened a few more times before I realized what was happening, once again they had all planned a surprise party for me and I was TOTALLY oblivious! They had even written to Melanie who was living in Haiti to send me a note of happy housewarming.

Living the Life at 22!

Shortly after my 22nd birthday, I headed to England for Christmas with my parents. After my tramatic first visit, I was scared to death of England so that trip was really great for me to see that England is actually an amazing place. They were living in the north in New Castle and I quickly fell in love with the English country side and with shopping at H & M. As a pre-teen we had watched the Christy movies and I had fallen in love with the Scottish doctor and his accent. Then while living on the ship whenever a Scottish person would come onboard, I LOVED sitting and listening to them talk so it was also nice being friends with Rachel and her family who were Scottish. I had always wanted to go to Scotland and my family said for years that I needed to marry a Scottish man. Well my mom surprised me on that visit with train tickets up to Edinburgh for the day. We ate cotton candy, explored the city, took pics with every statue, and had one of the best days ever! Dan and Martha were also there for Christmas and then Jill came a day later. I loved being together with the whole family.

When I got back to TX, I started thinking seriously about moving to PA, but wanted a sign that it was a good idea. Within a week of deciding that, Jill called me and said she had some funny news. Her and Micah had gone house hunting and bought a house... in PA! I contacted Crissy and Selena and told them of my plans to move.

That Spring was a fun one. Jessica would come over and watch reality tv with me and knit. She had started making Jared a throw blanket for Jared which turned into like a king sized quilt. I made about 25 scarves. Having a boy join our group was fun too. We became alittle family. We taught Ryan about women and he loved giving us insights into the male brain. We all looked out for each other. I remember one day I was going to drive to Dallas and Jess and Ryan came outside, checked my cars fluids, kept reminding me to be safe and waved as I drove away. I did actually get in my first car accident that day in Dallas and when I opened my wallet, realized that my friend Andy had thought it would be a funny joke to switch our license. Try explaining to a lady who speaks no English why my license had a picture of a 24 year old male on it. For Ryan's 21st birthday, his girlfriend hadn't done anything fun for him so Jessica, Jared, and I took him out for drinks. Then we went mini golfing and then decided to get real crazy and went bowling too in the same night. : ) I did find out the hard way that drinks and bowling should not be mixed and ended up with the mother of all bruises on my leg. Ryan was the sweetest friend and would make me communicate when I was upset and when I would cry, he would bring me little gifts to cheer me up. There was a lady who worked with me who was in her 50s and she would always say, "He likes you, you know. You really need to date." And I would remind her that he had a girlfriend, but then he would come in with another little present for me and she would give me that, "I'm right" look. We just remained sweet friends though.

Rachel had been telling me for awhile about her friend Lane who had seen pictures of me from our road trip to Houston and had told Rachel he had to meet me. Then we would end up telling her about all the same music and movies she had to check out and it was decided that we had to meet. I got a call from Lane one day and he invited me to drive up and stay with them for a weekend and then be his date to their spring formal dance. I drove up to College of the Ozarks and the first night he took me out to a show. I was in love with someone else at the time, but we became fast friends. A few weeks later Rachel came home for the summer and Lane, Dave, and some of her other friends drove her down and they all stayed at my house. We had so much fun playing sardines at the base and hanging out in Dallas. Rachel's parent's were in Scotland that summer, but Rachel had to take a class so Rachel and I spent the summer cooking our dinners together, swimming almost everyday, and being each other's family. She had a wedding that she really wanted to go to up in MO so against her dad's advice, we drove up to AR to Lane's house and then Lane drove us the rest of the way. One of the funniest things about Rachel is that she freaks out whenever she wakes up. Lane would come into our room in the mornings to wake us up and I would peacefully open my eyes, and then Rachel would wake up and gasp or yell and it would make me freak out each time and Lane would just stand there laughing. We had such a wonderful time with Lane, but then we left his house to head home and got stuck in a traffic jam on a bridge in Little Rock, AR which was halfway between Lane's and home. All of a sudden Rachel said, "Is that smoke coming from our hood?" We pulled over and got some coolant to pour in, but Rachel figured out it was the wrong kind. After we had poured it in. It was Sunday so garages were closed and we got to a Walmart, but the guys at the tire and lube department wouldn't help us because of the liability issues. Both of our dads were out of the country and we were getting followed around by scary guys. Both our phones were dying and we were trying to figure out if we should call Ryan or Lane with what little battery we still had to come rescue us. We called Lane and when he heard he wanted to jump in his car and come get us, but we knew there wasn't much he could do. We were strong for alittle while, but it got to be too much and we both started bawling. The guys working in the tire and lube couldn't handle how pathetic we looked sitting there bawling our eyes out so one came out and checked the car, helped us put more coolant in and told us we would be fine to drive the rest of the way home.

Selena found me an apartment and a job in PA so I planned to move to PA the end of July. Ryan had this girlfriend who Jess and I were not big fans of because she wasn't very nice to Ryan, but he was loyal to her and would sometimes flake on us to hang out with her. Well one day Ryan said to me that he had some boxes at his apartment for me for packing up my stuff. I was over at Jessica's and Ryan called me and started acting like he was going to flake on me because he knew how mad I would get. Well I needed boxes and couldn't believe he was flaking and I got furious! I rushed over to his apartment and started pounding on his door SO angry. He opened the door with a super mischievious smile on his face and I stormed in so worked up that when I saw a few of my friends in there it didn't even register why they were there. All of a sudden I realized that ALL of my friends were there and then I realized it was a surprise going away party for me and he knew me so well that he had thrown me so well off track that I didn't suspect at all. The next day Jill flew into DFW and Rachel, Jess and Ryan came to the airport with me to pick her up and before hand we had one last dinner together talking about our hopes and dreams for the future.

Jill and I had a fun road trip up to PA. My parents had taken a road trip up North a few months earlier so had taken most of my stuff up to Micah and Jill's for me. I remember thinking that I almost hoped the van would get stolen because I was overwhelmed with how much stuff I had. I moved into a town house with Melanie and April and I remember them being so shocked how many shoes I had. The first night I was unpacking and feeling alittle minute of remorse and wondering if I had done the right thing in moving. I had almost started to cry and Melanie walked into my room with a scary night gown and a pair of HUGE thick glasses on and said, "Sometimes when I feel sad, I put these on and remember how much worse it could get." From that moment on we were kindred spirits! I loved living in PA, loved living with Mel and April, loved helping Crissy with her wedding, loved that I arrived just in time for Selena to give birth to Jadon. The church had a camping trip shortly after I started working there and it was a wonderful way to get to know people!

Jessica came to visit a few weeks after I moved there. It was fun having her meet people and introducing her to Sherah since they were both leaving for their DTS that fall.

Legally 21!

21 had a rough start. The day after my 21st, Stefan and I broke up for good. It was super hard for me to do because I loved him deeply, but knew us together was not what I wanted for my future. Also, since I had started dating him only a month after getting out of a 2 year relationship with Stu, I basically felt like I was processing almost 4 years of relationships. I remember crying the whole way to work, praying all through the day that I would make it through without any tears, crying the whole way home and climbing into bed when I got there. My parents were very supportive during that time and luckily I worked with Jessica who is the best in situations of pain like that because she is not afraid of pain and spending time with her is always like therapy to me. I actually remember friends coming to visit me in my bed during that time. Ricci and Jeremy found out they were pregnant that Christmas. We spent that Spring adjusting to our new situations we found ourselves in. I would go spend every weekend at their apartment.

That New Years was no Times Square, but Rachel was home on break and we New Years painting each other's nails, singing, and watched the ball drop twice, once at Eastern Time and then again at Central Time.

Easter morning I woke up. My mom was out of town so it was just Pappy and I home. I walked out in my normal morning oblivious haze, poured myself some cereal and plopped down on the couch. Pappy was sitting at his desk and asked me if I noticed anything. I didn't, but as I looked harder, I realized that he had done an easter egg hunt for me before I woke up. His hiding places were SO creative that I have no clue how long it would have taken me to notice it if he hadn't told me. I had so much fun running around collecting the eggs!

One thing that I was excited about with my new singleness was going and getting my nose pierced. Jessica came with me and when we arrived at the place, there was a big burly biker dude who pierced my nose. Jessica was in massage therapy school at the time and she gasped when she saw him because he was in her class. Her next day back in class she was running late and when they had to partner up to practive massaging each other, she got stuck with him.

Ricci and Jeremy really wanted me to hook up with their friend Ryan Brown who I had met at Thanksgiving, but I was not ready for a new relationship at all. They were always trying to arrange for us to spend time together, but it only worked out one time.

That summer my parents had to move to England to work on the renovation of the newest Mercy Ship. I stayed in TX in their house by myself.

That fall Liz and Jordan were getting married. I decided to fly to CT for the wedding, then take the train to NJ to visit Jill & Micah, and I decided last minute to then take the train to PA to visit Selena, Crissy, and Wesley. At the time I really wanted to move back to CT. I got there and had such an amazing time with all of my friends at the wedding and in New Haven. Then I got to Jill's and had such a great time with her and Micah and they were talking about where they were thinking about possibly moving and I thought it would be fun to live near them. Then headed to PA. And I knew that that was where my heart was. I had always dreamed of living there near my friends and I had nothing tying me down. I didn't say anything to them, but I just knew what my decision was. While I was in New Haven I received a call from Jess saying that there was a new guy that had been hired in Fulfillment when I was away that everyone wanted me to hook up with. I started asking about him and she said, "Well, it's kinda confusing because he has a real name, and then a seperate name that he goes by." I said, "Michael Rogich, but goes by Ryan Brown?" Sure enough Ryan had started working there while I was away. I knew he had a girlfriend by that point and let all the ladies who were trying to set us up know, but he added so much fun to our lives at work and after work.

Jessica and I were both feeling alittle blue about life and living in TX. We cheered ourselves up with many dance parties and we decided that we were going to have tons of fun over the holidays. We decided to get a group together to go to Six Flags when it was decked out for Halloween. I am not sure what I was thinking because I hate scary Halloween things, but we had a great time for most of the day and Ryan came along which was our first time hanging out with him outside of work. For some reason a bunch of us decided to go through this haunted house. They paired us off and I ended up with Jessica's friend Reese who I had just met that day. We start walking through and I grabbed onto him in fright of the house and he wrapped his arms around me and said, "Sorry, I know I just met you, but this is scary!" I was so terrified that I literally ended up INSIDE his shirt to hide from all the horror by the end of the tour. : ) Talk about quick and embarrasing friendship bonding!